BlogHide Resteemsdelicioustacos (29)in politics • 7 years agoThe Women’s MarchThe Women’s March worked. Trump was deposed. A pink pussy hat now president. Horny killers from Damascus welcomed at LAX by your girlfriend. Schools teach in Mexican. New Chief Usury Officer of…delicioustacos (29)in life • 7 years agoI Can’t Tonight But How about Tuesday, She SaysWell no. I’m talking to you because you seem like you fuck fast. I fucked my ex. She only hurts me. I thought it would make it better to have another girl taste her cunt juice on me. The air next to…delicioustacos (29)in life • 7 years agoSecond Date IdeaI want to chain you to a pipe. Stop taking birth control. Move into my sweaty apartment. Let go of your possessions. Your pets. I’ll ladle water down your gullet. Sop up your waste. You’ll live off…delicioustacos (29)in life • 7 years agoHow to Be a Screenwriter in Hollywood(Note: this is from 2013; I'm sure in 2018 it's impossible to do any of this) If I were a horrible person, I could make money telling people how to write and sell their screenplays. I could…delicioustacos (29)in life • 7 years agoMy First Ever Online DateI was on Match. 2006. My “headline” was “You should totally go out with me.” A girl messaged me saying “my roommate should totally go out with you.” I thought it was some kind of scam but no one…delicioustacos (29)in crypto • 7 years agoWhat people want from cryptois to feel something. The feeling that they're smart, that their lives are going somewhere. The feeling that they're losing and then it pulls back up. That the arc of the universe bends toward…delicioustacos (29)in life • 7 years agoOKCupid: What I’m Doing with My Life Part 2I was unemployed for a while. Now I’m a gray corporate worm. I have a 401(k). I wear loafers. I use Powerpoint; Excel. Advanced proficiency in Microsoft Office Suite. I’m in a small branch office…delicioustacos (29)in life • 7 years agoFirst DateThey were at El Prado. He had mineral water. She had dry Riesling. So I have to ask you something, she said. He knew what was coming but pretended not to. Go ahead. Are you really as much of an…delicioustacos (29)in life • 7 years agoMariaShe had big tits and she was studying to be a mortician. Her OKCupid was all about death. Guatemalan I think. She wouldn’t fuck on the first date. I fingerfucked her in her car instead. A black…delicioustacos (29)in life • 7 years agoManic Pixie Dream GirlHere’s the whole fantasy. You are at the doctor’s office. Or at work. There is a pretty young woman there. That alone: fantastical. She is not looking at her phone, grunting cruelly at some other…delicioustacos (29)in writing • 7 years agoBirthday 201539 . Weird age to be a childless man looking for a secretarial job. Alone in a filthy apartment with a cat. Weird age to explain to employers why you’re looking for such a shitty job. Well look, I…delicioustacos (29)in blog • 7 years agoFetishWhen I fuck a girl, to stay hard, I have to think about getting her pregnant, moving to the suburbs, having her quit her job, me making enough money for both of us. Having her love me, having us…delicioustacos (29)in dating • 7 years agoLet’s Go Out for Coffee, She SaysWell no. There are day date guys who take girls to coffee and museums. Then there are night date guys girls drink with later. On your night date the How’s OKCupid for You talk happens. I actually…delicioustacos (29)in fiction • 7 years agoAngel of the MorningHis buddy told him: try Seeking Arrangement. I put that I’m worth two million. I take them to a sushi place. But not one where the chef doesn’t let you order. Middle income place; I tell them I…delicioustacos (29)in dating • 7 years agoBelindaAre you surprised I’m here, said Belinda. Mexican girls don’t date white boys. Au contraire , he said, I’ve had every one in town but you. Not the real ones, she said. I bet their parents spoke…delicioustacos (29)in writing • 7 years agoCoffee Shop Diary: A Pretty GirlDamn, this girl is really pretty. Which means she’s dating some guy in a band. Some guy with a job. Some guy with a smaller nose and a bigger dick. Some guy who is more confident. Some guy who would…delicioustacos (29)in blog • 7 years agoFuck Los AngelesA four bedroom house in Hot Springs Montana is 99 thousand fucking dollars. Estimated mortgage: $382 a month. You get a separate detached cottage. The cottage alone, in this shithole fucking city I…delicioustacos (29)in fiction • 7 years agoOne Small Act of KindnessHe lived alone. Every morning the same spider had fallen in the bathtub. An elegant silvery-looking affair. He’d pick her up carefully by three legs (one leg would have just snapped off). Place her…delicioustacos (29)in reviews • 7 years agoBook Review: Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. JamesRight now, your mom is masturbating to a dirty book about a guy who duct tapes a young girl to a chair, blindfolds her, gags her, beats the shit out of her, then pulls a tampon out of her cooch and…delicioustacos (29)in blog • 7 years agoWant AdsAre you PASSIONATE about finance? Rock star Executive Assistant needed for C-level exec at up-and-coming boutique firm. Ideal candidate is a detail-oriented, motivated self-starter. Thick skin and…
