BlogHide Resteemsi-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoPolar Opposite, Same As MeThe next couple days flew by. It was like I was floating on a cloud. It feels so relieving to have something to look forward to. When I was younger, I would always have a crush; someone who I would…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoMeeting a ManSomething has happened. Something amazing. I can’t even. I met a man. I’m bursting just writing that. His name is Marty. I haven’t stopped smiling since we started talking at the Funk n Waffle. We…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoA Lack of SupportI got a bag today from a support group for people with mood disorders. It was lime green and had the word “Humana” on it. I did not know what it meant , but it suits me: like human, but not quite.…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoA Step ForwardHow rapidly the tides change. I am ecstatic. I feel incredible! I finally did it. I finally broke out of my shell and let myself be free. I had sex with a man. It felt incredible, and it has made my…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoPerspective of PainI tossed and turned all night, unable to find any peace of mind. I wound up crying a bit, as I had done earlier yesterday. I feel so undesirable. Not only am I on the verge of homelessness; I am a…i-juggler (55)in blog • 6 years agoTouched By A StrangerIt’s now Saturday night. Something happened. I feel embarrassed writing about it, but at the same time I’m not. There was a big push in the cult to teach us that there is no shame. At least that’s…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoTrapped in My HeadIt’s Saturday, and I have been alone for most of the day. I’m mostly reflecting while being productive. I keep trying to push myself to do more but my mind keeps wandering. I wanted to go for a…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoThe Healing BeginsMy friend and fellow juggler, Lawrence, has let me stay at his place with my two other friends, Sean and Robb. I just got back upstairs after having a slice of pizza. I’m crying because of it. It’s…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoStart of a JourneyAs of a few hours ago, I am homeless. I am sitting at the local Mini Mart, trying to figure out my next move. I’m messaging people, and waiting to hear back from a friend I trust. Worst case…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoRebirth and ReawakeningYesterday, I took four hits of LSD. The experience was more than I could possibly put into words. It was easily one of the most transformative experiences of my life. I will attempt to unravel some…i-juggler (55)in lgbt • 6 years agoDenialWhat is truth when there are lies To hide the world behind these eyes? Can’t admit; denial never quits Will never answer: who is it? What is the nature of this creature That feels as its…i-juggler (55)in blog • 6 years agoStepping out of my comfort zoneToday, I stepped out of my comfort zone. My intent was to go to the civic center downtown, apply for the benefits I need, and then go get my long-overdue permit at the DMV. I accomplished about 75%…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoStream of Consciousness 6: Ripping off the Band AidI need to love myself before I can love anyone else. For so long, I’ve craved to be with another person. Ever since my first crush in 6th grade, I have been obsessive over finding love. I needed to…i-juggler (55)in religion • 6 years agoJesus has a voiceIt sounds like this: "Thump thump Thump thump Thump thump. "i-juggler (55)in blog • 6 years agoWalking a TightropeI used to run track. I was pretty good at it. I won most of the time, and regularly put up impressive times. I owe much of my success to my ability to ignore my pain. I could dissociate in the…i-juggler (55)in blog • 6 years agoStream of Consciousness Journal 5: ResurrectionToday I went busking in my hometown of Syracuse again. This is the first time I've done this since I was taken advantage of by that cult, Earth Nation/Love Cycle. It was particularly nerve-wracking…i-juggler (55)in life • 6 years agoWaking Up From DepressionI have schizophrenia. Along with the super fun delusions that the CIA is beaming thoughts in my head to get a sex change, I regularly oscillate from one extreme mood to the other. Some days, I am…i-juggler (55)in lgbt • 6 years agoGod wants me to get a sex changeLast night I was browsing Reddit as my brain started to shut off in preparation for romping through dream space. As I refreshed the page, an ad caught my attention. This is somewhat unusual, as I’m…i-juggler (55)in blog • 6 years agoFear and LoathingI’ve been afraid most of my life. There’s a story to this. My mother had AIDS and died when I was 9. My father was abusive, in more ways than one. I was routinely picked on as the weird kid, which…i-juggler (55)in poem • 6 years agoGhostly FettersA clear sky is blue But what clouds will do Stain the heavens Rain comes from seven Scars on the arm Marred is my charm No second look Worse than a crook Seen as a freak Have to be…
