BlogHide Resteemswaking (25)in life • 7 years agoEveryday Self BeliefHowever damaged my family, I'm deeply a part of it. It might be crazy after all these years. After all, after all these years, how much damage did my family do. How much, in emotionally hugging…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoBeing powerful is all in your head (and then hands)Yesterday morning, that my power is all in my head, popped into my head. People who abuse power to disempower others do so against those they perceive as weak. Put in front of them someone who…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoJealousy held me backMy brother was born two years after me. My mother thinks that it was because of the drugs at childbirth; for the first year he was sleepy, didn't develop fully. They were afraid he was mentally…waking (25)in story • 7 years agoDon't Be This1). The Theft That person with multiple talents told herself she was doing a favour by withdrawing. Kept  her music to herself, did not publish, share with the world. She retreated int o what…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoCappuccinos and True Happiness: The Economics of Love(1) Entering adulthood with a syrofoam cappuccino It was 1996 and Sex and the City and Friends was a thing. London was a different place. The middle class hadn't yet started talking with a…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoHow to hack self-doubtI was initiated into the Prophet some 12 years ago by an elite soldier stoner boyfriend with a fascinating mind, not University educated but far more educated than me in lifep, Kabalah, philosophy…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoLife realisations- letting go, finding peace, the forgivable fallibility of parents and feeling like you deserveThere is a funny thing about dreams. You wake, you have them, you remember for a minute and then it's gone. But inside that dream are all the teachings your unconscious wants you to know to help…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoPruning the past without destructionOver the weekend I cut down vines from my back yard. I've been having them crawl up the fence, over the yard and onto the external wall of my building. The neighbors complained lightly a while ago…waking (25)in ivf • 7 years agoMarvellous IVF updateI'll cut the verbosity for this one. In January I did a second round of IVF. I was 43 and a bit back then. I keep staring back at the photo I took now of my medical report because I can't…waking (25)in ivf • 7 years agoStaying sane during IVF..part threeThe Buddhist tradition is replete with thought experiments designed to kick us momentarily out of our dualistic monkey minds. The kaon- the paradoxical anecdote - experientially shows the limits…waking (25)in confidence • 7 years agoStaying sane during IVF (and life) Part 2So here's the thoughts that occur to me. First, I think too much. I know this about myself. Probably sounds like a statement of the bleeding obvious, given that you are reading s blog composed…waking (25)in work • 7 years agoBad boss relationship recoveryMy manager in my previous position. I listened closely. In our interactions, it was like a whisper in my ear: I want to be your friend, and I will be, but you've done this wrong and I won't…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoStaying sane during IVF Part 1.After the mysterious kiss (see previous post Forty fucking four) there cometh the appointment with the fertility doctor. The one that my five months pregnant dental hygienist recommended for an…waking (25)in ivf • 7 years agoForty fucking fourI'm on the bus going to doctor. It's my birthday. 9pm appointment. Why ? At my Sunday appointment, my dental hygienist is 5 months pregnant, knows I'm trying and strongly recommended endometrial…waking (25)in israel • 7 years agoIsraelThey turn around and want to kill us. And we say, hell no. We say- have you got any idea of the suffering that we endured? The terror? The persecution? Not just the Holocaust. But if course…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoDaring to imagine being happy just as things areBeginning this blog, I began to realise that I'm much stronger than I realise. The seedlings were there. They grew when I began to see over time the extent to which my internal dialogue…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoWho would I be if I did not _____?For years and years I have taught myself to fit in by pleasing others. Seeking their good opinion of me. Seeking their admiration from being good. ( I'm not in the game for being good through…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoOn power and happinessAbout 4 years ago I had a profound experience . I was on a detox month in Thailand. At the same time I was fasting for a week, I was taking every New Age workshop going. It really began to…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoMeeting realityA month ago I took a break to the desert and met there a couple of friends in their early thirties who were both mothers. The married mother had a three year old. The single mother had two…waking (25)in life • 7 years agoHuman madnessSince I got back, I've been feeling increasingly miserable. At first, it was a joy because having been stuck in a public hospital in the East and thinking I would not make my flight due to…