Hi! My name is "what" and I'm an alcoholic

I've been in and out of the program for about 7-8 years, hit 90 days twice and want to get back in. Most people I talk to don't think It's a real disease. Was just wondering if we could start a newer thread for people that are struggling, or get some members to share their thoughts...I can't be talking about this on mainstream social media so I figured I'd try here. and for those who ask why i dont go to meetings, i live 30 miles away from the nearest town and i have no car