I love Sam!
I’m in love! How cliché does that even sound? I am so over the moon in love with Sam, and I don’t care how clichéd or cheesy it sounds. I want to tell anyone and everyone about my love for him and I know that he loves me too, everyone treats me like I don’t have a mind of my own but he treats me like an equal, showers me with attention, respects my ideas and opinions and he is drop dead gorgeous well in a cutely boyish way. Hmmm, but there is a catch!
My family!
My family doesn’t like him! I have four brothers, my dad and my best friend Tom and they all don’t like him! They are only polite to him for my sake and I don’t understand why? Who doesn’t love Sam? Apparently my family doesn’t. He is cute in an adorable way and he really wants to be accepted by my family because they are important to me. He is kind to the elderly, children and animals and above all he makes me happy which is supposed to be the number one priority of my family but apparently it’s not. Well, not even my family’s disapproval will stop me from marrying Sam, after all he has proposed and I said yes! I have a mega sized diamond ring to show for it. Eloping seems to be the best idea, after all who cares about Dad’s approval, right?
My best friend!
Tom! We have been best friends in like forever. He has great insight about people. He can tell a lot from the tinniest bit of detail we normally overlook; like gestures, movement, and choice of arrangement, choice of colours, timing and so forth. But he doesn’t like Sam! Now that should have been a red flag considering I hold Tom’s viewpoints in high regards but then Tom is only human, he can make mistakes, he can’t always be right.
We eloped!
Well not literally. We just married secretly, after all it’s our life and we are the ones getting married. I was the happiest woman ever getting married to my first and my last love (hopefully). Going ahead with the marriage was like winning a major feat like I have a mind of my own. We bought our own house sharing the cost fifty-fifty. So many times, I wanted to pick up the phone to share my happiness and joy with my family or my best friend but well they never approved, so their loss. Right?
The unexpected!
And the unexpected happened! Sam hit me! Sam really really hit me! Not just once but repeatedly. I never saw that one coming. My utopia crumbled like a pack of cards. What did I do? I hadn’t ironed his shirt well enough! Can you imagine I was hit by the love of my life because of something as mundane as ironing of shirt? Of course you can’t! I didn’t believe it myself. I kept chanting “it’s a dream” as he kept telling me it’s my fault he hit me, he just couldn’t take my incompetence anymore especially at something as mundane as ironing his shirt.
Okay! Did I tell you I came from a very wealthy home? Well yea I “was” an heiress. “Was” being the active word because my beloved dad cut me off from my inheritance, afterall I insisted on marrying someone he didn’t approve of. I had savings from my previous job so I didn’t care about my inheritance. Now Sam had done the unexpected and changed on me or has he always being liked this? The funny thing is before he hit me, six months into the marriage he started acting discontent about everything I laid my hands on. According to him, it’s my fault we don’t have a big house filled with staff. It’s my fault we all have to work ourselves off when we could lounge and go on an extended honeymoon. It’s my fault I can’t get pregnant at least it may cause my dad to give me back my inheritance. You know what? I believed him. If not why would the love of my life hit me if I didn’t deserve it? Why will he forcefully sleep with me even though I am bone tired, if it wasn’t my fault? Well you can call it rape but Sam said I am his wife so he can have me anytime he wants to, guess what I believed him again. Me! Whom my father or my brothers never laid hands on, me! Who has always lived the princess life. I now scrub the floors endlessly, sew tons and tons of clothes till I’m dizzy with it because Sam said we are saving money yet I never do any of them right. I quit my job because Sam said I can’t be a proper wife while I worked so I heeded him. Every day I hide bruises with make up because they are my reward for not being the wife Sam wants. My lovely granny died, Sam said I can’t go because he has to go for a co-workers birthday and i have to go with him since he really needs to get the promotion, I had to paste a smile on my face at the party while my heart mourned.
This is how my life went downhill, I can’t tell anyone. Too ashamed to admit that the unexpected that everyone seemed to have expected have happened to me, how do I go from here?
Note: to everyone who has been emotionally, psychologically and physically abused by someone with narcissistic personality disorder, remember, it wasn’t your fault and you are loveable no matter what you have being told!
