Actifit Grade: FAIL

I finally decided to download the Actifit app after seeing my Steem feed bombarded with Actifit posts. I wanted to find out what all the hubbub was about!

I ended up failing…….and I’m writing about my experiences in the hopes that I can save other people from screwing up so bad with Actifit….but I didn’t know I failed until the very end of the day when I submitted my Report Card.

I thought I was doing really good…..

I started out my day waking up on the couch, with my smartphone still attached to my face from the previous night’s internet browsing.

This is a strategy I developed in order to reduce physical activity in the morning, as I generally check my smartphone first thing in the morning, and I don’t want to miss out on anything that’s happening on the internet. Easy access to everything is key. But in the Actifit world, this strategy gets very low scores, much to my chagrin…

So, first thing I did in the morning was check my Steem notifications on the Partiko app, which took several minutes………after that, I ended up shitposting on Steem for what I thought was a few minutes but which quickly turned into many hours.

I was happy to find out that the Actifit app rewards my shitposting on Steem and converts this activity into an equivalent amount of steps. My shitposting ended up being the equivalent of .0000000000000001 steps! :) Yay!

After hours of shitposting and feeling very guilty about wasting half my day, I felt a rumble in my stomach, so I decided to walk to the fridge to get some White Castle Hamburgers which I had defrosted from the night before…….this activity resulted in 6.5 steps! Yay me! :)

And, well before you know it, one hamburger turned into 2 which quickly became 4, 6, 8….I ate the entire box. Yeah, I know I suck.

But there is a positive aspect to all this with Actifit! I was happy to learn that Actifit rewards me for eating hamburgers. While it is not very much, every point counts! I earned the equivalent of .00000000000000001 steps for eating each hamburger!

After eating the hamburgers, I walked back to my couch to continue reading the day’s comments to my various shitposts……and this walking activity resulted in 6.5 steps, according to the Actifit app…

The entire day, I thought I was doing really good, but according to the Actifit app, I was failing miserably. Here’s my report card:

F.

Damn you Actifit.

Posted using Partiko iOS