Am I torturing myself? Anyone…
The answer to this is most likely yes. I could let go and accept the life that is waiting for me rather than trying to dictate how things are suppose to be. If I were to look at life as my 8th grade latin teacher told me, that is, perhaps there is more than one soulmate. It may free my heart ever so slightly.
By holding onto her with my death grip (which is also my nickname for my grip when I masterbate), I am only killing myself. If she is the one, she will come back. There are so many beautiful people. So much love in this world. Even when people are teasing me, I love it. The little idiosyncrasies of life, which can feel so tedious at time, is filled with wonder.
I have this feeling that she is constantly mocking my writing. As if she were more than one person. For example, I’ll see someone do some odd punctuation such as… which I used to use to indicate that I wasn’t sure about something or pausing to think about something. I see reflections of my ... in everyday life. Like my trash removal people who are ‘Trash Disposal…’ or in a chat where someone writes, “what… u … want”
Yes, I see the irony here. Perhaps it is better to stick to the rules (or learn the rules) of the English language. My argument would be that writers like E.E. Cummings have dared to be different. Plus, think about it. If your last name is Cummings, you have to be doing something right.
check it out;
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
BY E. E. CUMMINGS
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart