I’ve been waiting to share this for months. I was hoping to put a respectful distance between it and the last suicide or overdose But they keep coming. When I originally wrote this it was late August 2017 and there had been eight within two degrees of separation from myself since the beginning of the year. I can’t wait any longer to speak my mind.

Imagine that you find yourself at the bottom of pit dug by years, or even decades of diversion, denial and excuses. The weight of countless ruined relationships, and an unknowable number squandered opportunities press’ down on you. The full cast of painful emotions circle above, taking turns picking at your self inflicted wounds. Finally you’re filled with enough shame that the additional stigma of the the label Addict no longer bothers you. So you accept things for what they are and present yourself to the appointed experts for help.

At first you are filled with a serene sense of relief. There just might be light at the other end of the tunnel, there might be a way out after all. In turns you are passed from hands medical, to quasi-medical, and then shown The Program.

The Program, most likely presented to you as the only way, is a pseudo-religious system that cryptically asserts that that addiction is a supernatural problem with a supernatural cure. It’s something that no clear thinking person would be afraid to call faith healing. You are told that you have a "spiritual sickness" caused by "character defects" that can only be cured by complete supplication to a higher power and confession of your past wrongs to a sponsor. You are told that if you don’t do this, or continue to participate in The Program for the rest of your life, you will be unerringly lead to “jails, institutions and death.” If you fail to be helped by this it can only be because you have failed to fully surrender to your higher power, root out your character defects, or in some other way properly “work” The Program. The Program does not fail, it can only be your fault.

You are taught in a very subversive way to place blame for all things on yourself. Whether you are the victim of theft, child abuse or rape you will be asked to consider what “your part in it” was. You are both powerless in all things, while being wholly responsible for anything detrimental that befalls you. Your success’ are not your own either, even your sobriety is dependent on the grace of your higher power.

You are often made to feel that you aren’t really “sober” or “clean” if you are using psychiatric medication of any kind. If you were really working The Program you wouldn’t have those problems. The Program is a total solution for all life's problems.

The more cynical of us will not be hit too hard by this revelation. We’ll nod our heads at the right times and make the coffee while we make use of the resources participation makes available to us . But all the while we are looking for a better way. Some of us find it.

For others, seeing The Program for what it is will only confirm the hopelessness and futility of their cause. They surrender themselves back to the pit, or more directly to death.

Others will try to follow The Program as best they can and only be damaged more. A few are no worse for it. A handful seem to do quite well.

Decades of research show that The Program is no more likely to keep you sober than doing nothing at all. It also indicates that those with substance abuse problems that participate are more likely to die from using or suicide than those that don’t. The data also suggests they are also likely to end up using more, and more often.

There is an endemic problem with sexual harassment and assault in “the rooms.” The organizations responsible for The Program are either mute or cowardly evasive when confronted with this. It’s made worse by many sex offenders being routinely court ordered to participate whether they have substance abuse problems or not. “The rooms” are a predator's paradise.

Twelve Step Programs must be stripped of their unearned air of respectability. It needs to become common knowledge that they have no scientific or medical basis. That they have changed little since the first was hastily written in 1938 by a man that had a room in his house set aside for seances. That they are not a therapy or a treatment in any legitimate sense. That the medical professionals that recommend them often have no idea what they are, and are almost always baffled when they finally learn what they are really about.

Don’t let anyone shut you down with stories of the few “success’,” while the bodies pile at our feet.

Their strangle hold on “recovery” in our culture is killing people. It has probably killed someone you know.

The few of us that have made it to the other side are not enough. We need your help.

This has been and will continue to be a long and protracted battle. One that can only be fought only with ideas. Understanding the situation as best you can and talking about it with others is all that I can ask of you.