If you are still reading, thanks!
After high school, I actually wanted to get married right away and start a family but I'd let a couple of very eligible men slip through my fingers due to (imo) immaturity. I was very dramatic in my late teens and early twenties. I was pretty restless. I tried junior college, worked and partied a bit. I ended up joining the army on a whim.
I wasn't really suited for the structure of the military but I DID get to travel. That was very nice.
I also got married to a nice Army man and gave birth to two daughters when I was in my twenties. Incidentally, both of my daughters been diagnosed with ADHD just this year. It's hereditary.
One of my daughters is in her twenties and one is in her 30s. I definitely felt that my older daughter had ADHD and took her to the doctor when she was around 3 or 4 years old. She was pretty hyper. The doctor said she was normal so that was the end of that. I was already beginning to have difficulties with coping with all the details that being a young mother involved. I didn't have the energy to go from Doctor to doctor trying to get a diagnosis for her.
I was a mediocre mother in my estimation. My energy level was low most of the time. I knew that soda and junk food weren't good for me but I did get a jolt of energy that helped me sometimes and it set up a pattern of food addiction. I was grumpy a lot. Life felt very hard. I was exhausted every day. The main thing I had going for me was my love for my daughters. I did the best I could to be there for them.
I got divorced. I guess my husband couldn't handle my drama and I was disappointed when he didn't meet my expectations. I became very religious. I was just desperate for help from somewhere. I survived. Does that mean there's a god? But seriously, I think religion helped me in many ways. Maybe without religion, I would have acted out a more desperate, damaging ways when I felt frustrated. Religion kind of kept a lid on potentially bad behavior and I think my girls benefited I having their mother home, sober and interested in them.
My daughters moved out of our house when they were on the young side. My older daughter moved in with her boyfriend when she was 21 and my younger daughter went off to college about an hour away when she was 19.
And I embarked on the next chapter of my life.