Just a rant for advice

in advice •  7 years ago 

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Last night, while on the way home, passing through some of the dark back alleys I usually take, I started doing some thinking. I don't know why I thought of all those things that I did at that time but they put me in a bit of a melancholic state at first. I started thinking about how everything had happened in my life. All the things that I had lost while growing up, my right to a proper childhood due to a broken family, a proper college education which was cut short...and many other things.

If I could get a wish granted then I would wish to get a good nine to five job, one where I won't have to spend too much time away from my kids and family. My schedule is quite busy, I work almost every single day...I wake up around 7 o'clock in the morning and get ready to head to work. I keep myself busy during the first half of the day doing some construction work which is quite tiring in itself and really dangerous. There are times I wonder why am I even doing this job but not much can be done since I need the cash. You don't make much here in the Philippines compared to other countries.

After I am done with that, I don't go home but get started on my second job as an online English tutor. This one compared to the construction job is less tiring physically but leaves me mentally exhausted. Majority of the time the students don't want to focus in the class because their parents force them to study all day long. There are times I feel envious of them and also times when I feel sad for them. Envious because I wish I could continue studying like them and sad mainly because they don't get enough time to build memories that will last them a lifetime.

Other thoughts that were running through my head were of how I easily I get affected by the situation of others. I can't bear to see a person suffering. I guess I give my trust to people very easily or empathize with them when they come to me with their problems. I am not saying it is a bad thing but there have been times when those very people have given me the cold shoulder or stabbed me in the back. But I still help them by either listening to them or giving them the aid that they need even if it might put me in a tight spot.

I don't regret my actions because all of them have led me to meet my wife and having a wonderful daughter with her. So what I am ranting about is how exactly should I proceed? What should I really do? Should I limit it and if I should how should I really go about it? I don't know how to do it...what would you guys advise?

Thank you for reading this rant! Much love to you all <3. Sorry for a slightly depressing post.

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I think what you're actually looking for is a job where you work for yourself, and not for someone else. Don't mistake me; I'm not saying you shouldn't do a job in which you're helping others (which I gather you enjoy greatly). Rather, you should find something that you WANT to do instead of what you HAVE to do. It comes back to the old adage: "Find something you love doing, and you'll never work a day in your life."

Even then, I think that saying misses something. It seems the Philippines are no different than the States, in that, the "work force" is comprised of wage-slaves. Even if you're doing something you like, the fact that it is compulsory and you are beholden to a master makes it a fundamentally negative experience. That's the great thing about this platform. It gives us a chance to break free of the power structure that ensnares us all.

I find it interesting that you posted this a couple of weeks ago, and then stumble across my story. These seem to be the themes that my book is gravitating toward. I think that's neat.

I can definitely identify with what you wrote. This line in particular stood out to me:

I can't bear to see a person suffering. I guess I give my trust to people very easily or empathize with them when they come to me with their problems.

I am the same way. As for what one should do after he gives his all to people who only end up stabbing him in the back later...I had to deal with that recently actually, causing the end of what I believed was a good friendship (turns out it was fake after all). It was painful but we move on with our lives and don't allow such pain to change who we are or diminish the light that we bring into the world.

Because the world needs more loving and caring people in it today, it needs people like you who will readily give his all to help those in need. Even when our efforts go unappreciated or we end up getitng used and abused and walked all over by people who we have helped. What's important to remember is at least we did our part and tried to help alleviate someone else's stresses and troubles in life.

That said, it's also important to put yourself first, of course. Realize that your needs and the needs of your family come first, and you shouldn't feel bad if someone comes to you for help and you find that you can't help them because you have to focus on your family's wellbeing first. It's ok to say no, something that took me 28 years and a very toxic relationship to finally learn.

Idk why I commented, I just thought I might throw my 2 cents in. :P Hope someone out there is able to find some value in this.

Hey bro. Well your 2 cents were well worth it in my opinion. I am always doing what I can to put myself first but sometimes it is hard to do especially when you see someone suffering a lot.

I know what you mean. Up until very recently I was the exact opposite, I always put others before me even when it was harmful to my own personal wellbeing, because I hate to see other people suffering. But recently I came to the realization that what I really need to do if I truly want to help people, is help myself first get to a position in life where I actually can afford to help others in any way that I can without it being detrimental to other parts of my own life. So that's what I'm doing now, that's why I'm on Steemit, that's why I'm investing in cryptocurrencies, etc. :)

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Sounds like you're just going through a rough patch. Also, a nine-to-five job should not be what you wish for. Trust me. I used to wish for it and then discovered I can do and get more if I work with what I have rather than wish for more.

Thank you for the advice. I will keep that in mind but I do hope I am able to spend more time with my lovely little angel. :)

the rough patches in life is what makes me know and appreciate the better times. A better time will come because you have the power to make it happen.

It is good to hear that you have noted that you arrived at this point which has brought you a wife and daughter. I am glad you have life to share with them. It sounds like you have been doing a lot of thinking. Sometimes, it is better to limit help for others if they have proven that they do not appreciate it and they're just using you. That is a hard thing to do though. Hoping you can figure it out soon.

  • I have looked it up and have been unable to find the code to get text to wrap around pics like you did with 9 and 5. Can you share? :)
    #theunmentionables

Sure thing @apanamamama, this link helped me a lot with inserting the images. The text wrapped itself around the images automatically. Basically I just set one image to the right and the next to the left and after I was done with both of them...I started the next paragraph.

Here is the link.
https://steemit.com/steemit-help/@krnel/how-to-align-images-in-steemit-posts-left-right-and-center

Just do a bit of experimenting with it and you will get the hang of it :)

Great, thanks so much! :) I have searched google but not on steemit. ;)

You are welcome hopefully this will help make most of your posts look different with the way you use the align command.

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When it comes to survival, there are things we can't just help, we just have to keep doing it. I understand ur feelings when you talked about your risky job, but u can't stop it considering the fact that you are a family man now. But I believe with time, you will be more comfortable and you won't have to work your ass off.

Thanks man. I hope so that there will come a day when I get to relax and be able to spend more time with my kids and live a comfortable life.