Gay Male Friendship

I am a gay 21 year old and I have a gay 21 year old best friend who I love dearly. the relationship is in that weird blurred space of not being sexual but cuddling and I cycle between viewing him like a little brother, a parent, an older brother, a friend, and a husband. It's now in a place where (not that stereotypes matter but just background information - I'm femme and typically bottom, he's less femme and always tops. we often assume those roles as well in friendship and in cuddling) we're fighting a lot. I am sensitive and find him to be cruel and uncaring sometimes and not following through on the commitment to our friendship. He says I am possessive and expect way more out of him than he can give me. we have been fighting so much for the past month and I just can't get through to this person anymore. He's coming over in 4 hours and we're going to talk. I need him to know how badly it hurts when he dismisses me and I want to say like yeah we're more than friends but not dating or sexual. Like literally no sexual thing has ever happened so we're very clear on that. I think there's a little bit of a power balance issue because I'm attracted to him and I don't know if/think he's attracted to me. I really cant lose him and I'm going through a hard time where I need his support more than ever, but when I;m needy he gets nasty and pulls away more and I get more panicked about being alone and abandoned. I know I demand too much and I really want to be better, but I cant help feeling trapped right now between either being given the cold shoulder and treated insensitively when I don't say anything, versus having him get mad and view me as a chore and be exasperated all the time. We have so much fun together and neither of us lives in the same state as our parents and as two young single gay men I think having this kind of intimacy is normal. I hate to feel powerless and like I'm too attached but my life has really emptied of people recently and I just need someone, but he's not understanding that. He thinks me telling him that I'm upset is me being critical and making him feel bad, but really I'm just trying to get closer. If two people care about each other then why cant we connect? I think its because his annoyance and need to win overpowers how much he cares about me. It's more complicated than that, but anyway I'm looking for advice in the coming hours: is there anything I can do if he legitimately doesn't care about me being in his life? It feels like I'm trapped and its going to hurt with him or without him. Any tips for the talk we have when he comes over? Im very skilled in like therapy and DBT etc so I know all the basics but what's something I may not be seeing clearly?

PS feel free to answer even if you're not gay. personal experience in conflict resolution is universal sometimes.