He's lying to me

in advice •  7 years ago 

I use this account to read other's posts. I am not a bot.

I'm getting to a point where I am not sure if I have truly found happiness. There was a time where all I wanted was the affections of a particular guy. Well, now I have them it seems he is a very different person to who I originally thought.

He is very closed and 'private' which I respect but at the same time, I feel he doesn't trust me or respect me enough to share his life. I don't want a running report on everything but for gods sake I don't even know his family. He's met mine hundreds of times. I've known him for nearly 6 years, been together over 3 and I just feel like we're on different pages.

It would destroy me if things ended with us but I don't know how to be happy anymore. Right now, I know he's lying to me about when he's flying to another country because he didn't want to see me today. I don't care if he's busy, I'd rather him tell me he's got stuff to do. I've never had a problem with it in the past.

Things are way to complicated and everyone tells me I have a 'weird relationship' and I try and stand up for us but they're right. Is weird good though?

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  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Usually, people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. I think if your friends are seeing and telling you they see red flags, you should put aside your feelings and send your intellect in to evaluate the situation.

A good friend of mine once told me. I over E. Intellect over emotion. Intellect is rational, emotion is just that... emotion.

If you are sure something is a lie. (not having a hunch) then that is a red flag, if you choose to ignore it.. Well, that is risky behavior.

Best of luck.

I very often make decisions based on emotion. Thank you for your advice, that's helped a lot!
I mean, he prob got the dates mixed up! But he hasn't told me that.. maybe I'll find out in a couple of days!
Anyway, have a good evening!

It's easy for us to give you advice, but a lot harder to give you good advice because we're not living the details.

I will say this though. I was once in a similar situation (not with the lying) where I was with someone I cared about but just didn't feel the same connection anymore and wasn't happy. She felt the same way.

We dated for a little over 3 years and are still friends but I really wish I could have that time back. The problem, as I see it, in these situations is that if it doesn't work out you end up dwelling on what could have been.