Maybe you need A.L.I.C.E. http://alice.pandorabots.com/ I was the judge.....

judge: to get to the other side
ALICE: Ha ha, very funny, judge.
judge: no seriously...
ALICE: Ah.
judge: who is God?
ALICE: he is master of the universe.
judge: where does she reside?
ALICE: Earth.
judge: Really?
ALICE: How can I help you?
judge: I am hungry
ALICE: What will you be eating?
judge: no money
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question.. How much money are we talking about?
judge: enough for dinner
ALICE: OK let's stop it now.
judge: ok
ALICE: Give me a break.
judge: stop
ALICE: Stop what?
judge: you wanted to stop.
ALICE: I guess I want to continue.
judge: oh
ALICE: Are you kidding?