RIGHT? THIS IS ALSO FROM ALABAMA. WE HAVE AN ANNUAL ST. PATRICK'S DAY TRADITION ON THIS SHOW. IS THIS SOMETHING I Gaze FORWARD TO ALL YEAR? PROBABLY THE GREATEST LOCAL NEWS STORY EVER. IT'S THE STORY OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY MIRACLE, A LEPRECHAUN SIGHTING THAT TOOK PLACE IN MOBILE, ALABAMA. WAY BACK IN THE YEAR 2006. >> CURIOSITY LEADS TO LARGE CROWDS IN MOBILE'S CRICHTON COMMUNITY, MANY OF YOU BRING BINOCULARS, CAMCORDERS, CAMERA PHONES TO TAKE PICTURES.
>> LOOK LIKE A LEPRECHAUN TO ME. WHO ELSE LOVES LEPRECHAUNS, SAY YES! >> Jimmy: THAT WAS THE ORIGINAL FAKE NEWS. AND IT ONLY GETS BETTER FROM THERE. >> EYEWITNESSES SAY THE LEPRECHAUN ONLY COMES OUT AT NIGHT IF YOU SHINE A LIGHT IN ITS DIRECTION, IT SUDDENLY DISAPPEARS. THIS SKETCH IS WHAT MANY OF YOU SAY THE LEPRECHAUN LOOKS LIKE. >> Jimmy: I STILL REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT'S AN AMATEUR SKETCH. THAT HAD TO BE DONE BY A PROFESSIONAL. OH, By the way, I GOT COOKIES SEPTEMBER FROM THE LNJ BAKERY IN MOBILE, ALABAMA.
IF ANYTHING WAS EVER MAGICALLY DELICIOUS, THIS IS IT. THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR THESE. I WILL Feed THIS EVIDENCE AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL FROM MOBILE. THE CAPPER TO THIS HOLY TRILOGY OF LOCAL NEWS CLIPS IS THIS. >> OTHERS FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE AND HAVE COME UP WITH THEIR OWN THEORYS AND EXPLANATIONS FOR THE IMAGE. >> IT'S GOT TO BE A CRICKET. GET UP IN THE TREE AND PLAY A LEPRECHAUN. >> Jimmy: AND THAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY. THE PRESIDENT DOES NOT DRINK.
SO HE CELEBRATED ST. PATRICK'S DAY BY TWEETING LIKE THE MANIC LEPRECHAUN ARTIST HE IS. TRUMP TWEETED AND RETWEETED 29 TIMES YESTERDAY. WHO SAYS HE'S NOT PRODUCTIVE IN YESTERDAY, JUST BEFORE A.M ., HE WROTE, IT'S TRULY INCREDIBLE THAT SHOWS LIKE "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, " NOT FUNNY, NO TALENT, CAN SPEND ALL THEIR TIME KNOCKING THE SAME PERSON, ME, OVER AND OVER. WITHOUT SO MUCH OF A MENTION OF THE OTHER SIDE LIKE AN ADVERTISEMENT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES. SAME WITH LATE NIGHT SHOWS. HE'S NOT SO MUCH THE PRESIDENT AS THE "CHEERS AND JEERS" SECTION OF "TV GUIDE." THEN A 14 -MINUTE BREAK TO GATHER HIS THOUGHTS AS HE CONTINUED WITH THE MARCH MADNESS. SHOULD FEDERAL ELECTION COMMISSION AND/ OR FCC LOOK INTO THIS? THERE MUST BE COLLUSION WITH THE DEMOCRATS AND OF COURSE RUSSIA. BESIDES THE FACT THAT TRUMP HINTING THAT THE FCC SHOULD LOOK INTO CENSORING Belatedly NIGHT COMEDY SHOWS BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE US MAKING JOKES ABOUT HIM IS GENUINELY DISTURBING. THIS IS WHAT VLADIMIR PUTIN AND KIM JONG-UN DO. WHAT MIGHT BE THE CRAZIEST PART IS THE EPISODE OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" HE WAS TWEETING ABOUT ON SATURDAY WAS A RERUN.
NOT ONLY WAS IT A RERUN, IT WAS A RERUN OF THEIR CHRISTMAS EPISODE. HE DOES KNOW IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS, RIGHT? I MEAN, HE'S NOT THAT OUT OF IT, IS HE? MAYBE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW RERUNS WORK. HE DOESN'T SEEM TO KNOW WHETHER HE'S WATCHING AN OLD EPISODE OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" OR A NEW ONE. HE TWEETED THIS. DANGEROUS IMMIGRANTS HANS AND FRANS MUST GO. AND THE IDEA THAT LATE NIGHT SHOWS ARE COLLUDING WITH RUSSIA? IS RIDICULOUS. I KNOW I'M NOT COLLUDING WITH RUSSIA. LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR WRITERS ROOM TO SEE. HEY, GUYS. ARE ANY OF YOU COLLUDING WITH RUSSIA? >> NYET! >> NYET! >> NYET! >> Jimmy: I HOPE THAT SETTLES THAT. BEST WRITING STAFF VODKA CAN BUY. IT'S REALLY TERRIFIC.
TRUMP TOOK TIME OUT THIS WEEKEND TO TWEET INSULTS ABOUT THE RECENTLY DECEASED SENATOR JOHN McCAIN, WHO HE FOR WHATEVER CRAZY REASON SAID FINISHED LAST IN HIS CLASS, WHICH HE DIDN'T. AND HE SCOLDED FOX NEWS. HE'S ANGRY AT FOX NEWS FOR SUSPENDING JUDGE JEANINE PIRO. LISTEN TO THIS. WHILE I Speak IT, IMAGINE HIM SAYING THIS TO HIMSELF IN FRONT OF A MIRROR. MUST STAY STRONG AND FIGHT BACK WITH VIGOR. STOP WORKING SO HARD ON BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT WHICH WILL ONLY BRING YOU DOWN AND CONTINUE TO FIGHT FOR OUR COUNTRY. THE LOSERS ALL WANT What the hell are you HAVE. DON'T GIVE TO IT THEM. BE STRONG AND PROSPER. BE WEAK AND DIE. STAY TRUE. WHAT KIND OF A PERSON WOULD TWEET SOMETHING LIKE THAT?.
