Honey Nazis

(Warning: The following article may contain excessive amounts of snark, and a mild amount of related profanity.)

So apparently I can’t just watch a pleasant little documentary about food without it containing enough authoritarian bunk to bug the hell out of me. I watched the first episode of the series, “Rotten,” on Netflix, and was sufficiently annoyed that I had to write this article about it. To jump right to the point, they tried to make it some shocking crime drama by talking about how—brace yourself for unspeakable atrocities—some honey in the U.S. is … coming from China … without being heavily taxed!!!

God help us! All is lost! It’s the end of days!

You see, somewhere along the way American honey producers were being underbid by Chinese honey producers, which itself was described as some nefarious crime. What kind of despicable criminal tries to make his prices lower than the competition’s prices, in order to get more business?!? Oh, wait. Pretty much every business everywhere does that, always. But because it was them dadburn foreign honey producers taking away the jeeeeerrrrrrbbbbbs of Muricans, we are all supposed to be outraged.

In fact, we’re supposed to be so outraged that we don’t realize that it dramatically benefits Americans to have more buying choices. Competition always favors the customers. But you’re supposed to be waving a flag and jumping up and down too much to think about that. When the U.S. ruling class forcibly interferes with your ability to trade with half of the planet, you’re supposed to be stupid enough to think that that is for your benefit.

So the ever-loving and ever-wise political parasites in Washington, quite a while back, imposed massive “tariffs” on honey imported from China. (That’s a statist euphemism meaning, “If they bring honey here, we rob the crap out of them!”) That is an example of initiating violence. It is morally wrong. Yes, it’s even wrong if you happen to personally benefit from such thuggery. To review…

Voluntary interaction: Good
Violent coercion: Bad

(There might be a test later, but it will be open-book.)

But back to the “Rotten” documentary (pun intended), they then interviewed some meddling douchebag U.S. Attorney, trying his best to demonize voluntary trade while simultaneously trying to glorify violent aggression. So there he is, playing the savior of Murica, while making the asinine assertion that this is not a “victimless crime” we’re talking about, because American honey producers are losing business!

No shit, Sherlock. That’s called competition. To talk as if that is a crime, with victims, is exactly as stupid as saying that if I offer to mow my neighbor’s lawn for $1,000, but someone else gets the job because he offered to do it for only $20, I am somehow the victim of that other lawn-mower’s “crime.”

Anyway, Mr. Law-and-Order Federal Busy-Body Parasite then tries to make it sound all dramatic as the tale is told of how two nasty “honey launderers” (I shit you not) had a diabolical illegal scheme (watch the show if you think I’m exaggerating) to import Chinese honey into the U.S. indirectly, without paying the exorbitant protection racket fees to the federal Mafia, but were foiled at the last minute by the U.S. Honey Gestapo.

The show went on and on about how Chinese honey producers would then find ways to sell and ship to other countries, which in turn would export it to the U.S., where there is a huge demand. And it went into the extensive and expensive ridiculous wastes of time and money that have been put into detecting and rejecting any honey that originated in China.

Because them dadburn Chinese bees are all commies!

Now, for those viewers who aren’t completely brain-dead, the program tossed in a quick reference to some anti-biotic detected in some shipments of honey that (they claimed) could be harmful to people. The exact risks, and amounts, were skipped over, probably because getting into those details would be boring, anti-climactic, and wouldn’t scare people enough. Yes, obviously, if you sell people stuff that contains dangerous ingredients that you didn’t tell them about, that’s bad. But if anyone actually thinks that the U.S. federal “government” gives two craps about whether you are sold unhealthy garbage, you need to learn more about the FDA.

Oh, and they also made brief mention of how some of those nasty Chinese honey producers may be diluting some of the honey with syrup made from rice, in ways that even sophisticated tests can’t always detect. If it’s not harmful (and they didn’t suggest it was), and people can’t tell the difference (even with zillion-dollar science labs), I can’t really figure out why anyone would care so freaking much.

It’s also worth noting that, unlike with their treatment of American bee-keepers, the show did not interview at great length any Chinese bee-keepers, to show their time-honored traditions and personal stories. Because hey, hell with foreigners. They probably aren’t even human. And either way, they’re definitely up to something. Them and their commie bees!

But I digress. (A lot.) I have to emphasize the fact that the mention of the anti-biotics (used to make bees resistant to disease)—the only thing that could in any way be portrayed as potentially immoral—was tiny compared to the vilification of those nasty people trying to bring in Chinese honey without the proper level of extortion from the U.S. ruling class. And, just to be clear—much more clear and honest than the documentary was—it’s not that such honey is banned. The “crime” was not bringing it into the U.S. per se; the “crime” was bringing it into the U.S. without giving the U.S. politicians lots of money in the process.

So what was 100% a shakedown and protection racket, courtesy of the professional crooks in Washington, was portrayed as some noble attempt to protect the American people … “protecting” them from less expensive honey that is perfectly fine to purchase and consume, but which hasn’t been “taxed” enough on its way here.

This is your brain on statism, people. It makes people think, say and do profoundly stupid—and sometimes evil—things.

I don’t know if I have the stomach to find out what is in the next episode of the series. Maybe it will be about brave American soldiers fighting for freedom and justice by dropping napalm on some toy manufacturer in Taiwan that has been ruthlessly “victimizing” Muricans by selling them party hats at lower prices, without first paying off the American politicians properly.

Such statist crap is infuriating to watch, especially knowing how many American isolationist doofuses are going to be nodding their heads and cheering, completely unaware that they are applauding authoritarian collectivism, and more restrictions on their own freedom, while the Chinese are demonstrating how voluntary trade and capitalism are supposed to work.

It almost makes me want to go find a supplier of “illegally”-imported, untaxed Chinese honey.

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(Larken Rose is a speaker, author and activist, having advocated the principles of non-aggression, self-ownership and a stateless, voluntary society for over twenty years. Donations to help support his articles, videos and other projects can be made by PayPal to "[email protected]" or by Bitcoin to 13xVLRidonzTHeJCUPZDaFH6dar3UTx5js.)