Why keep the anger in myself if its possible to take it out on the offender or others? This Council was criticized by American psychiatrists. In their opinion, any visible manifestations of anger do not stop the emotional reaction, but, on the contrary, feed, strengthen and prolong it.
The best way to deal with anger is to notice it as early as possible and neutralize it using the so – called window of opportunity.
The trigger for anger is a sense of danger. In most cases it is false. Let's say you have someone cut in front at traffic lights. On this situation you will react first reflectively-press the brakes, and then emotionally-give an assessment of the situation. Anger arises when you begin to engage in soul-searching: "What is he doing? He doesn't count with me? How dare he..." to Use the window of opportunity – then replace your negative thoughts positive as soon as possible. Until the window closed.
In a typical road situation, anger can be extinguished by suggesting that a person is in a hurry. Maybe he's going to the hospital to see an old mother who loves very much, or to a girl who finally agreed to become his wife. A logical question arises: are we not deceiving ourselves with such thoughts? It may be. But you will agree that the idea that a person does something specifically to spite you is no less far from the truth. Just in this situation it is profitable for you to think about his sick mother. No anger there.
Imagine that this water surface is your emotional state. The danger of anger is that each new negative thought, like a pebble, will disturb its peace more and more often, until a real storm begins in the tank, and all the contents will not spill out. Anger will create a sense of invulnerability and impunity. And will turn into a state of passion, dangerous for the subject and for the people around him.
If there are conflict situations at work, it is better to tactfully interrupt communication and offer to continue it in half an hour. During this time, you and your opponent will be able to open a window of opportunity and re-evaluate the situation.
The ability to control yourself is one of the most important qualities of a successful person. Maybe today is the day you need to hold back. Try to do that.