how I always wanted to resign a job

Image source

                                Stick Your Bright and Lazy Job, Mister Big
                            
        Dear Mister Big,

I have some news, which I think you will find hairy.
Over the last one hundred and seven days thirty two minutes, I have found working for Monsters Inc both bright and lazy.
It's fair to say that my assistant is sweaty and the clients are hot, but this has not stopped me from finding the work bright.
I have really enjoyed spinning with my assistant and stealing moist peppermints from the litter bins. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming the pope have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a golf club. I dream of getting up in the morning and shouting, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a sponge and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as an editor, to pursue my true calling as the pope.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of empathy, which is why I leave with a hairy heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of hell on earth.
Yours sincerely
kpd