I am a firm believer in being kind to animals. I don't mind eating a hamburger or chicken sandwich so my "animal kindness" may be considered an oxymoron.
I don't kick cats, or shoot dogs with a bb-gun. I would never torture an animal. Oftentimes I avoid stepping on ants and have been known to safely transport a spider out of the house.
One time I had a black snake in my garage. My daughter and I wrangled it up and set it free in a snake-friendly environment. Another time a different black snake got in our chicken coup and he was relocated to safety.
Yesterday, I stopped the car, got out and encouraged a snake to cross the street so it didn't get run over.
I heard something the other day on the radio and thought it was a joke then realized it was a real story.
A quick search on the computer confirmed.
A group, PETA I think it is, has decided that the language we Americans are using is harmful to animals.
I was chatting on discord with my good friend @dreemsteem about random stuff. She is such a sweet lady.
Anyway, I mentioned the phrase "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink". and she replied, "however you can put a lot of salt in their oats". which I had not heard before and it made me laugh.
I will save you from the entire conversation except to say I couldn't find a horse in discord fast so instead, put a :camel: because I was too lazy to find a horse.
My conversation with @dreemsteem reminded me of the animal-FRIENDLY language that PETA says we should have.
So here are some examples:
Harmful: Kill 2 birds with 1 stone
Friendly: Feed 2 birds with 1 scone
Harmful: let the cat out of the bag
Friendly: spill the beans (I would argue the beans might be offended)
Harmful: Take the bull by the horns
Friendly: Take the Rose by the Thorns ( cause, after all, Every rose has its thorn)
Harmful: Be a guinea pig
Friendly: be the test tube
Harmful: hold your horses (how is this harmful it could keep them safe)
Friendly: Hold the phone
Harmful: Open a can of worms
Friendly: Open Pandora's box (hmmm)
Harmful: Bring home the bacon
Friendly: Bring home some bagels ( but bacon tastes so good...doesn't it mean bring money home anyway?)
Harmful: Beat a dead horse
Friendly: Feed a FED horse (why would you feed something that was already fed?)
Harmful: More than one way to skin a cat
Friendly: More than one way to peel a potato (once again what about the potatoes feelings?)
Harmful: The elephant in the room
Friendly: there is really something big we need to talk about but it is uncomfortable to talk about it right now.
Harmful: all your eggs in one basket
Friendly: all your berries in one bowl (what about the rights of berries?)
Harmful: that really gets my goat
Friendly: could you not drop my grapes
Harmful: watch him like a hawk
Friendly: observe a growing stalk
Harmful: I am so hungry I could eat a horse.
Friendly: I am so hungry I could eat my SHORTS.
Can you think of your own animal sayings that can be made more friendly? Here are some Harmfuls to get you thinking:
Let sleeping dogs lie
Quit cold turkey
Like a fish out of water
ants in your pants
Mad as a hornet
Wild goose chase
What others can you think of? Please try to think of Friendly ones that could replace the harmful. lol
this should have been entered into #comedyopenmic also ! hehehehehe
ok hmmm yes - i was giggling so hard LOL
how about...
Quit cold . wait. what does quit cold turkey really mean anyway? I mean i know it means like - stop abruptly - but the saying.
maybe it's a good thing for the turkey.. you're bringing him a blanket or something.
maybe that actually helps the turkey.
ants in my pants. again. perhaps the ants are getting out of the rain???? i mean - come on. why are they just assuming that the ants don't WANT to be in my pants???
mad as a hornet. is it MY fault that the hornet is mad???? have they SEEN a hornet? i think we're just stating the obvious.
Let sleeping dogs lie. see... i'm just thinking that if PETA wants to wake the dog - the dog might have something to say about that. I think the dog actually would side with us on this one.
Like a fish out of water. ok - i'll give them this one. We can change that to "like a human under water." then we can just offend the humans hehehehe
and the best one that you exchanged?!?!?! hahahahahahaha "could you not drop my grapes!" LOLOLOL
i'm going to actually start using this one. it just needs to happen. LOLOLOL
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I would let some ants live in my pants if it kept them out of the rain what about you? If we changed it to "like a human underwater" then all the merfolk and fishies would be upset not to mention Aquaman.
"Could you not drop my grapes?" now I am laughing. Sometimes I look back and say to myself "Who wrote that?" then I remember I did.
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Lololololol
I like the elephant one too!!!!!! @kaerpediem knows how much I like elephants in the room hehehe
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Is this for real?
oh wow!!!
That's hilarious!!
Let's stick to ol school...or how would you ride the elephant tsk tsk tsk
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Yep he said it's for real!!!! Lololol crazy! Hehehe.. riding elephant... Only if they let us! Hahhaaha
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This post has received a 8.80% upvote from @swiftcash, thanks to @msg768 🤑
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@swiftcash thanks so much for the Upvote! I appreciate it.
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Thank you @msg768 if you are responsible for swiftcash. I really appreciate your vote and am following your blog.
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Well, thank you for sharing this really interesting list of suggestions to alter our language. It's funny, but it's so sad at the same time. After all, I don't see how either of these sayings would actually hurt an animal. Most of them are pretty benign anyway, (eggs in a basket? an elephant in the room? watching like a hawk? even the dead horse is ... well, dead). The most gruesome example in my opinion is skinning the cat, but I guess it would only be relevant to those of us who actually skin cats. Raise your hand please if you're one of them... ah, ... I knew it!
So like I said, as a joke it's not too brilliant, but easy to laugh it off. However, it somehow seems to me that whoever came up with it meant it seriously. And that I think is the sad part (yeah, it makes me drop my grapes). Changing the way we express ourselves, in our language, the product of centuries of dynamic use, is not easy, especially not in such a top-down prescribed way. To succeed would require years of bother: reminding each other that what we said was wrong(!) for whatever reason. Even then, the result would be the same ridiculous sounding phoniness as "gosh darn, the freaking shoot makes my mother sad".
Thank you, though, for providing me with a topic for a short early morning rant! Now I can go out and feel like I've done something. ;-)
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Thank you so much for your nicely written reply. It is most likely the most well thought out reply I have had since I began writing here. I think it is actually a compliment to the animals that in so many cases we have worked the animals into our language. "strong as an ox" does not demean the ox in any way. "bring home the bacon" does it actually hurt the pigs feeling and scare them or do they pretty much hear "blah blah blah".
Thanks for your reply. I value it and hope you get some kind of kudos for taking the time.
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Jeez, political correctness is reaching the point where so many people can't take a joke any more, and the rest of us are increasingly reticent to make them.
My elder sister wanted to write a book on the ridiculousness of it all.
And it's hard to get my head around the outright hypocrisy of PETA, an organization that for decades has claimed to work diligently for animal welfare, while in truth operating a string of high-kill for-profit animal shelters all over the country.
They even have a bad reputation for killing family pets before the time to claim the animal has run out under local law.
Killing for profit. They're right up there in my book with Monsanto, filed among "most evil entities."
That said, some of your examples are hilarious, and I agree that the idiocy of the PETA "solutions" occasionally rise to epic levels. Not to mention that even the animals in question would disagree.
And I'd far rather "lead a fed horse" than feed it again.
Great post. Thanks.
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I completely agree with your words. The more language gets dulled down the less interesting it is. I was unaware with the practices of PETA that you mentioned but have no doubt it happens.
Thanks for your comment. I appreciate you stopping by.
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You're welcome. I enjoyed your post. ;-)
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