Embracing the Crossroad

So what I mean by embracing the crossroad is I'm coming up on a decision that is going to alter the path of my life. I just began to start it to like these Crossroads in life because they usually Mark some sort of change. Sometimes it's good sometimes bad depending on whether you saw the crossroad coming up or not you know it just is there. Something like I study a philosophy is basically in the way of a warrior how Warriors how Samurai Warriors approached daily even mundane activities, every I think almost everything we do has to be carefully scrutinized and in terms of what we thinking about while we're doing it. See I've gotten away from being very peaceful partly blaming I'm partly blaming my surroundings which Inning on his face is a contradiction to what the Warriors philosophy stands for. No external device or Force should alter the way you set up to think about your day, your life. So my Approach lately I've I fall into Eagle testicle arguments. With my kind of a new girlfriend we've been dating for them there's eight months now but the past three she's changed into this really pass domestic nagging complaining type of person. I liked her a lot and that first let me be honest at first I used to you know I'm going to hold on when she would go off into a tyrant about whatever she hated about life and why she had to do what she had to do be at work or kids whatever right. So me I am I'm full of knowledge and one thing about me is I found I can give the best advice but it's really hard to follow in terms of meditation and ignoring things. So now back to me losing my way as I joined probably over half of our arguments and entertained a lot of her ridiculous fears and ridiculous habits I'm just so brought myself down I'm so far away from my sword and shield right now, right now I am about 3 feet away from my sword and shield and I am always on the battlefield. So think about it what good warrior ever puts down his sword and shield regardless of what's going on around him you see where I'm going. So I think before I have this girlfriend it was easier to deal with and ignore things and practice my anti fragile way of life. But now that somebody has been in my life and I've been sharing a lot of of it with her for the past 8 months I think I feel that I was distracted and in a way she convinced me to put down my sword and shield. I've almost abandon my anti fragile state of mind completely. I realize this last night when I was just laying in the bed and I decided to do a little meditation and realized how tight my jab was clenched, so I decided to take inventory of my feelings and thoughts at that very moment at that precise moment and I realized that also my fists were clenched mind you I'm laying in the bed getting ready for sleep. That lets me know how busy my mind had been I had probably been laying down for 20 30 minutes. So far away from my sword and my shield but today I decided to step back over and pick them up. The way of the warrior is being anti fragile. Things happen in life just stop thinking they're happening to you, start thinking they're happening around you. And I know this is a little cliche but it's true it is how you react to it, and in some point your preparation for things that's going to happen in life be prepared and experience is also a major tool for a warrior. The next time we'll talk about the sword and the shield I'll break it down and what it means metaphorically and how you can use your sword and shield in life we all have it we've all been born with it. But the traditional learning of our parents the things that you learned out of traditional things that parents have passed down to their kids, in my opinion is the reason why we're born with a sword and shield but just don't or forget that we have it in our adult lives.