I am 21 years old. I do not even have a driver's license because I'm afraid to drive. I haven't made any new friends after I graduated from high school. I seriously do not know how to talk to people. Recently I was with my significant other and I was introduced to some friends of theirs and when the friends tried to talk to me I give out one word answers and only talk when they talk to me first. It is ALWAYS like this wherever I go.
For one...I just feel ugly and I hate being in public. I still live at home with my parents and when I don't see my significant other I stay in my room all day long. I don't go out and do a damn thing.
I do have a job but I only work about 10 hours a week because I'm so quiet. I'm sick of people mistaking it for me being *****y when in fact I'm just terrified. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm probably going to be dumped soon because I can't make friends and I'm just a loser. I know its the case because they are starting to want to see me less and less. this always happens to me when I date someone. I'm always going to be alone. I wish I could be normal but I can't and I never will.
I haven't left my house since Wednesday either. This is normal behavior for me to go for almost a week or more without leaving the house. I want to be normal and get a better job and leave the house but I feel like how can I get a better job when I'm like this? I'm just a freak in everyone's eyes and it would probably be better if I wasn't even here in the first place.
I mean...I'm in college and I have a 3.8 GPA. I feel like I'm intelligent but I'm not going to get anywhere in life when I'm like this. It's all going to go to waste.
I've lied to my significant other so much too...the
y think I have a license and it's "just because I don't have a car". they don't realize how hard it truly is for me to be in social interactions because I always feel like i'm bering judged and i just don't know how to really communicate as an adult. i feel like i'm living as a 15 year old instead of a 21 year old because I don't even know how to speak to people. i'm too afraid.