Lima BEING Deep: Mental Health Journey, Childhood Memories, & My SteemitSpiritAnimal

That special fragment of a moment in which my family was mostly happy, sober, and together.

Slightly F'd Family

Mom on the left is full of love. Actually too much. Thats where i get it from. She puts all her energy into one person at a time. Woe to you if its not you at the moment. Woe to you if its you but you don't want her attention and she gets hurt by it. But she was and is always there for me. I'm lucky in that sense. She has a lot of skeletons that I won't go too much into in the off chance that she actually reads this, but like me-- she initially comes off as bubbly, sweet, simple, innocent. I'm a lot more complex but she is too its just hidden very deep down. Its partially because she had the desire for us to live better than I moved so many times. 20 times before I was 20 to be exact. I counted the other day. I wont write the list of previous homes cuz thats not smart interneting but its a lot. Here however is ONE of them.

The First Home I Can REmember CLEARLY

Behind that creepy looking school-marm is the railroad tracks where my foot got caught once while the train was coming. I've had a lot of somewhat-near-death experiences like this. But some dude in a truck rolled up and picked me up out of my shoe before the train came and saved my life. My sister just stood there in shock. In fairness she was only three years older than me and I was about 5 at the time.
Yap, I've bopped around 20 smallish towns and cities for half of my life and almost died at list 4 times. My question is: Is something trying to kill me or is something trying to make sure I stay alive??

Another great thing about living in this town which was population 300 hundred at the time and is not 700 in the city limits was that no one was ever watching you. There were these recycling trailors full of newpapers and one of them always had "the funnies" actually i think my sister read the entire newspaper but all i wanted was the comics. That Cathy sure did crack me up. Limas first feminist icon? Maybe. lol. But the best part was that we had to climb in to these trailers and sit in them and hide like the Boxcar Kids. I've always been a fan of hijinx. This was the first of many totally harmless yet not ladylike adventures for me.

I don't really want to get in to too much more right now but know that therehas been both joy and sadness-- trauma and miracles in my life as a poor kid from the country and a broken home. THEN My crazy wild-eyed self moved to the city. It was when I first moved to Boston that I began to feel "the train" as I call it. In my shoulders there would be a rumbling energy moving all over me. I couldn't sleep. I panicked daily. I sheepishly found a therapist even tho I'm complete from a bootstraps dont-call-the-doctor-til-your-dying rural area. That was 2007. 10 months later my dad died of a crack overdose in Hawaii.

Mental Health Journey -WEEKLY CHALLENGE

So every year I try to focus on one thing as me "resolution". @esaia-mystik called it it a New Years "Evolution" and I like that. I don't know if I have or will evolve any more or less than normal but the goal here is to be more active and openly productive about my work on my emotional and mental health. I'll never be what everyone wants me to be. I may never be exactly what I want me to be. But I'm open to practicing and I'm doing that with weekly challenges. This week I am taking a look at my childhood and making plans for the year which is the following:

1- living and speaking in as simple a manner as possible (rather than making excuses or explaining myself over and over)
2- Daily positive affirmations
3- Weekly goal for physical health (physical and mental go hand in hand)
4- Monthly appreciations.

I'm going to make sure this manifests into being more outwardly productive on steemit rather than just chatting, upvoting, and curi-ing. The more I can practice regular posting. The easier it will be to bring forth all the good stuff I have in store for my personal page as well as @teamgirlpowa.

NOTE: that my ability to do this today and my motivation has been the lady who I call my steemit spirit animal.
@techslut

She inspires me to be the best me and to be loud and vibrant as I have the inclination to be. I hope some day I can half half her confidence , good looks, and wisdom. Also to not be afraid of slightly annoyingly misogynist whales!! Haha (more on that later if I can manage)

Thats all for today. sorry I'm not so funny or musical or whatever yall like about me tonight. Its 5:11 and im trying to get out a weekly post as im sitting on about 5 unfinished ones. <3 to all.
~~Limabeing AKA Capn GirlPowa

For a fun-yet rowdy group that walks the line between riot grlll and "hey girl!":