Low self esteem is at the root of many psychological
problems including depression, anxiety and, anger. Feeling bad about oneself is very painful. To avoid this pain people often develop coping
behaviours For example, they may becoming perfectionists to avoid the pain of failure,
high achievers to gain recognition from others or loners to avoid the pain of rejection. These coping mechanisms may have short term
benefits, but they never resolve the underlying problem. I would like to share four approaches that
we can be helpful in raising self esteem, The first is increasing self- awareness An important first step is to gain greater
awareness of self critical thoughts and their source. These critical and tortuous statements are
often subconscious and habitual. Uncovering their origins, which are frequently
from childhood or teenage years, makes them more understandable. For example, a person who feels useless may
trace these feelings back to a traumatic experience, time of failure, or critical remarks from
their past. They can them understand that these critical
voices are not a voice of truth, but are learned from an external source. This enables you to take them less seriously
and stop identifying with them. The second is to Challenge critical thoughts Challenging the validity of these critical
thoughts helps us realize that a lot of them are based on irrational thinking and are simply
not true. For example, a person who is a perfectionist
can ask themself, ‘Is it really true that if I don’t excel in this exam I don’t
have value?’ A loner can ask, ‘Is it really true that
if someone doesn’t like me I’m no good?’ In this way, we can develop a more realistic
attitude and become less controlled by our critical thoughts. Third express your inner feelings It is common for feelings of low self esteem
to be guarded as a secret. Sharing these feelings with a supportive person
helps to normalize them. Psychotherapy places great emphasis on creating
a trusting relationship which enables a person to share these feelings fully. Role playing techniques are also used in therapy
to help express these feelings and resolve negative experiences from the past. This is done by a person visualizing the painful
experience that is at the source of their low self esteem and verbalize their thoughts
and feelings. For example a person who’s low self esteem
developed from bullying .Can imagine themselves speaking to the bullies and expressing their
thoughts, feelings and what they had been to scared to say at the time . Fourth express your authentic self Expressing our individual aspirations, hopes
and natural talents raises our self esteem. Martin Seligman, the pioneer of positive psychology
wrote, ‘We feel elevated and inspired when the exercise of will culminates in virtuous
action.” For this reason positive psychology asks clients
to take a survey to identify their strengths and think about how they can use them in everyday
life, On a practical level we can ask ourselves, “What actions can I do that would lift my
self esteem, for example an act of kindness, a walk in nature or learning a new skill. I'm Aryeh Sampson, and you're watching J-TV.
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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://entrepreneursjunction.net/?p=10738