I am so sorry that you are having a rough patch. Steemit can be tough, and often not very rewarding. I'm retired and a grandmother, so I have time--although, at my age that seems like an ironic comment (ha).
The best part of Steemit is people like you. If you ever decide to come back, and I'm still around, let me know. I'm a supporter. You have a unique sensibility--that's a gift for a lifetime. I hope you draw from that gift, and find satisfaction there.
Wish there was some way to help. You're right about one thing... hard times and disappointments offer the opportunity to reboot. I think you have those resources.
Sending great affection and positive vibes your way. You deserve good luck and happiness.
Your friend, AG