Innocence and love // البراءة و الحب

in arab •  6 years ago 

كانت بريئة، هادئة، تعيش في سكون ، كل ما يهمها الاجتهاد و التفوق و الوصول الى القمة ، كانت تستغرب اذا تكلمت قريناتها عن الحب ، و تردد دائما "الحب مجرد وهم و ان حدث حقا سيكون بعد الزواج و ليس قبله ابدا ."...
الى ان التقت به ،كان مثل الحلم ،لم تفهم تلك الاحاسيس التي كانت تنتابها عند رؤيته ، مزيج من الفرحة و الارتباك و الخجل ، كان قلبها يدق بسرعة كانه هائج، تحمر خدودها لمجرد كلامه معها او لمجرد مروره امامها ،لم تفهم ما سر هذه المشاعر ، ما هي؟ ما معناها؟ لماذا تتغير كل تصرفاتها و تنقلب احاسيسها فجاة عند رؤيته ؟ ...صارت تقاوم هذه المشاعر الغريبة التي عصفت بها فجاة دون سابق انذار ، فصارت تنتقده دائما، و تستغرب اعجاب الاخريات به ، و تضحك على ما يفعلنه من اجله ...لم تكن تعلم انها اكثرهن جنونا به ،لم تعي انها وقعت في حبه ، كانت تحاول مقاومة هذه الفكرة و ترفضها بشدة ، ، لا يهمها الا اهدافها و لا وقت للحب في حياتها ، ..قررت ان تشغل نفسها و تتجاهل ما يعانيه قلبها ...قاومت كثيرا و حاولت بكل الوسائل. ..لكنها لم تتحمل و استسلمت اخيرا لمشاعرها و سمحت للحب الذي زرع في قلبها ان ينمو ، نسيت كل شيء، لم يعد يهمها الا رؤيته و لو من بعيد و الاطمئنان عليه فرؤيته بخير كان بمثابة الاكسجين لها ...كتمت حبها و دفنته في قلبها كبذرة، تسقيها بدموع شوقها حتى نمت اكثر فاكثر و سيطرت على كيانها و صار حبها الدفين اهم من اي شيء اخر في حياتها ....
يتبع

She was innocent, quiet, living in silence, all she cared about diligence, superiority and reaching the top, she was surprised if her friends spoke about love, and always hesitated "love is just an illusion and if it really happens it will be after marriage and never before." .
Until she met him, was like a dream, did not understand those feelings that were seen when seeing him, a mixture of joy and confusion and shyness, her heart was beating quickly raging, blushing her cheeks just to talk to her or just pass it, did not understand what the secret of these feelings , what is it? What does it mean? Why do all her actions change and her feelings suddenly change when she sees him? Why was she talking about him in every place and in every time and there was nothing else in life? .. All these questions were in the head and did not find an adequate answer to save her from her puzzlement ... She resisted these strange feelings that suddenly hit her without warning, and she has always criticized him, and surprised by the admiration of others, and laugh at what they do She was not trying to resist this idea and strongly rejected it, because it is more realistic and rational than emotional, so she always used to give judgment and priority to her mind before her heart in all decisions Her life, does not care about her goals and no time for love in her life, .. She decided to occupy herself and ignore what is suffering her heart ... resisted many And I tried by all means. .. But she did not bear and finally gave up her feelings and allowed the love that planted in her heart to grow, forgot everything, is no longer interested only to see him and from afar and reassuring him his vision was okay Oxygen ... her love and buried in her heart As a seed, watering her tears with longing until she grew more and more and took control of her being and became her most important love than anything else in her life ....
Continued ..

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