BEASTLY TALES

OTTO GOES TO HAWAII

The U.S.A was not familiar to Otto,
A big, vast mainland, to visit he’d need Lotto,
Yes, to win Lotto to have enough money,
East Coast, West Coast, financially not funny.
And let us not forget the American mid-West,
Thousands of kilometres to put Otto to the test.
But Otto thought he’d first start small,
The Hawaiian Islands, the thought did enthral.

Arrangements were made, planning was done,
Now it was time for Otto’s Hawaiian fun!
The flight to Honolulu was long and boring.
The food was inadequate under Otto scoring.
At last they arrived and Otto caught a bus,
Into Honolulu, he was not ready for fuss.
He’d decided to stay in an inexpensive place,
The discovery of it proved to be a real disgrace.
Dingy and dirty, in Honolulu’s back streets,
It was quite a walk to get some Otto eats.

Otto had heard Hawaii pronounced as Havaii,
Wondering what the correct pronunciation might be,
Otto asked people to clarify, they said Havaii,
“Thank you,” said Otto, as he gazed at the sea.
“You’re Velcome,” they responded, economically.
Otto decided to go to the Ala Moana,
A gigantic shopping centre in this land of Banana.
He wandered around in a desultory fashion,
This was not his thing, not his passion.
He took transport back to Honolulu beach,
Walking along he did eventually reach,
A huge hotel on the foreshore, yes very big,
Colloquially referred to as the Pink Pig.
He felt he could use a beer, cold as ice,
But quickly changed his mind when he saw the price.
He would go to a supermarket near the unit where he stayed.
And get a six-pack where he wouldn’t be price dismayed.

Otto wondered to himself aloud, “What I’m doing”
“Is pretty much the same as what I’d be pursuing”
“If I was still at home from where I came,”
“I feel somewhat cheated, although not to blame.”

To create new interest a Tour he did enter,
To the other side of Oahu, The Polynesian Cultural Centre.
Normally Otto did not pursue culture,
Having similar cultural tastes to a vulture.
But he wanted to discover the essence of Island life,
Without overdoing it, getting into strife.
The displays and shows he encountered there,
Made Otto wish he had more hair,
To run his fingers through by chance,
Captivated by the Hula Dance.

Otto decided to go to a Luau Party,
Out on the beach, he could eat Hearty.
And he’d want to, considering the price of the thing.
It sure made the cash register ring!
One of the Wahines beckoned to Otto to come,
And join the Hula display to wiggle his bum,
So Otto, fuelled by a bucket of Mai Tai,
Saw absolutely no reason why,
He shouldn’t indulge such a saucy dance,
So he did, as he was given the chance!

“Time to go home,” Otto gave loud voice,
It was his decision, it was his choice.
“There I can go to the German Club,”
“There I can get my best sort of grub,”
“And if I do decide to eat out,”
“My bill won’t have sales tax and tips, making me shout,”
“With aggravation at such hidden cost,”
“Contributing always to a budget lost!”