BEASTLY TALES

THE CUP THAT CHEERS

Randy McOaf was an uncouth yob!
Not to hold back, more than a slob.
A bland fat face, with protruding teeth.
He was shortchanged with Nature’s bequeath.
Arriving at Great Aunt Petunia’s house.
He thought he’d endeavour not to act like a louse.
He duly bid his Great Aunt “Hello”,
And then to sit upon the sofa he’d go.
Aunt Petunia fussed in the kitchen,
As McOaf sat in the next room bitching.
“I’m making tea, it’ll calm savage breast”,
She trilled, as she sought out her biscuits best.
“Here we are, the cup that cheers!”
McOaf grunted, “Bugger that, bring me some beers!”

Great Aunt Petunia was quite taken aback!
This rude person social etiquette did lack.
To be addressed thus, in her own house was not grand.
This rude nephew, she must scold, make to understand.
“My goodness gracious me, you’ll not reject my tea!”
“I failed to recognize how rude you can be.”
“Yes, I’m addressing you! It’s not a soliloquy!”
“I’m offering The Cup That Cheers, gratis, free.”
“So I’ll thank you to appreciate this hospitality,”
“The next time, if you call, I’ll leave tea in it’s caddy.”
“Be assured, a full report will go to your daddy.”

McOaf looked nonplussed, taken aback.
He’d never before experienced such an attack!
And from a little old lady, no less,
If his mates heard of this, he’d be in a mess!
“Great Aunt Petunia, I did not mean to be rude,”
“But I thought you to be a bit of a prude.”
“I do prefer beer, and that’s the truth!”
“But not if it’ll make you go through the roof!”