BEASTLY TALES

THE FRIVOLITY

Amanda Spendthrift was a bit of a looker,
She dressed quite revealingly, perhaps like a hooker,
This was due to an insecurity complex,
Which did bother her, yes, it did vex.
She was always changing the colour of her hair.
“Hair dye is so expensive,” she did declare,
And so she usually went to choose,
The cheaper brands for herself to use.
Now, thrift is a virtue, we all know that,
But perhaps best not applied to what’s under your hat,
Amanda had, for her, an arranged date,
Her girlfriend to her did loudly berate,
“You have allowed yourself to become somewhat tawdry,”
“Revitalize yourself so you look like Audrey,”
“Yes, Audrey Hepburn in her best movie,”
“Elegant and sophisticated, not brash and groovy.”

So Amanda bought some hair colour, inexpensive,
And prepared to refurbish herself, rather extensive.
Came the very day of her date,
She washed well her hair, and didn’t hesitate,
To apply this new exiting hair colour,
Liberally, to make her hair less duller.
She dried her hair, make-up did apply,
Plenty of eye-liner to each eye.
And then she put on her dress,
Not before radiant? You’d never guess!

A taxi came by to pick her up.
She was meeting her date at the Melbourne Cup.
She alighted and then did push through the crowd.
To the Member’s Stand, to which her date was endowed.
The men wore morning dress and high toppers,
They looked a bit like nineteenth century coppers.
The ladies were all dressed, with outlandish hats,
The sort of occasion men should have worn SPATS.

Now, there was one thing Amanda didn’t know,
That some hair dyes simply did not go,
With some types of hair, they’d react badly,
Coming out as wrong colours, most sadly.
As she was being introduced to her date,
She glanced in the mirror, but it was too late,
She saw that her hair was now vivid green.
The most ghastly colour she’d ever seen.
She was about to make excuses and run away,
When they announced that she was the winner of the day.
Yes, the clear and indisputed winner,
Of the most outlandish head wear for a beginner,
Amanda had some tears in her eyes,
As she went forward to collect her prize.