Some thoughts

I'm too alert for this world. My body poisons itself, resulting in hours spent pleading with myself to act. Leaving me paralyzed in the thoughts that swarm my mind incessantly. I'm watching the kitten, happy in its animal nature, at once licking my hand and in the next racing around the various rooms in an unrestrained orgy of animal delight at youth and strength. How I have trouble with balance, which comes naturally to the cat. When it's tired, it sleeps. When hungry, it eats. Unlike a dog, which will eat itself until its stomach explodes, a cat will regulate its food consumption a lot of the time. I wish I had that self knowledge. And yet I see the cat, running from my side to running around our living space - trying to figure out how it fits in to it all. And in the quiet and inactivity that only illness can provide these days, I feel my body occupy the space. It does and simply realize, so am I. Maybe I can teach you how to be as secure in your environment as you are in you, and you can teach me how to be as secure in myself as I am where I am.