Kill the drummer boy. Free me.

in art •  7 years ago 

I Am Nothing

Hear my void

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Buzzing

Tinnitus

Haunting my shadow

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An auditory illusion

Trickery

Sorcery

Of time and space

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Lights path complete

The final fizzle still sounds

Like a distant star

Gone

Still visible where you are

Haunted

Trapped

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The phantom ear drum still vibrating

Long after

A confused drummer boy

Diligent and dutifully

Maintains the ceaseless snare

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Trapped in the middle

Drum

Drumming

Engine buzz

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Cruel

Disturbed

Deceiving

No course charted

No destination

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Let me off this fucked up party cruise

40th birthday

Bashed

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He sits

Alone on the deck

Unaware that the party is over

He drums

Someone please remove this child

His unrelenting monotones

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Pains me

Even in death

I am rattled

These fools

They surround me

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Don't see the shackles

Of this shadow vessel

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Their joy torments me

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In the mirror there is no judgement

There is nothing

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Touching and sad... You are a word ninja

In my world, currently dominated by a pint sized Ninja Turtle enthusiast, that my friend is the greatest of compliments.
From you, with your personal experience of the things I reference, I am further complimented.
Typing on steemit, drawing, the little crafting things I try to do. They all worsen my pain. I stopped for a while, but then I have nothing much else. I save my energy for my family, but I still fall short. I can become incredibly unpleasant and difficult to live with too. When I do something, anything, it comes at a cost. My family are the ones that see my ugly wallowing. It's occasional. Usually after I do something, not a big thing, but something I used to do, like go to the shops. The pain and fatigue are so frustrating. The tinnitus steps it up too.
You are my companion in these things. I'm sorry you suffer but being understood treasurly. Treasurly... Might not be a word, but I'm a word Ninja so if it's not it is now.

:D, I have the ugly wallowing as well, its pretty bad and they know to leave me alone. I am so thankful they deal with it and I hope one day it falls away. I am sorry you suffer companion but being understood treasurly :] HiYah

Ps remember to be kind and forgiving with oneself, compassionate... blessings

Holy shit, is that ever dark - but wonderfully, powerfully put together & expressed. 🙏

Interesting post... Playful and at the same time profound. I love that duality so I am looking forward to more.
Upvote and follow.

Warm regards!

It has been a while since I indulged myself and my woes in abstract word salad.
I'm glad you like my egocentric tangential brainspasm.
I used to call it a subconscious spew or brain fart. Brainspasm sounds less pungent. Don't you think?
...and wow! I thought I should check you out before I completed my response. I'm so glad you commented on my ramblin's. You are a find. 💎 Where in steem have you been?
Followed. Thanks for commenting so I could discover your work.

As a big fan of the Dadaïsm I can only love your abstract word salads and egocentric tangential brain spasm. Yes, without exaggeration, I'm crazy about it. In fact, in my opinion, these inner associative excesses give the most direct breeding ground for creativity. And sincerely, I insert it!

So please, treasure your splurges to value and keep posting what you doing so well. ;)

Thank you for the inspiration!!

Dada! Before steemit I hadn't ever written any kind of verse, and it has been a very long time since I had drawn anything either.
I've just looked up Dadaïsm. Thanks for validating my derailed thinking. Staying on the rails is over rated and only offer repetitive journeys. Finding your own groove is of paramount importance . PS I hate when people refer to there insular experience as a journey. Pease forgive me.

It 's certainly forgiven and I understand completely.

Personal quests for identity (read: individual grooves) have indeed nothing to do with what has been, otherwise there would be no progress never more.
It was just remarkable how you develop content, on the same playful way, the dada movement did. It was the first thing that came to mind ... Stronger than myself.
What I really should have said is that you have a natural talent for developing a visual personal research. With a high artistic content, even (maybe) it's not your intention.
So, with this it's adapted and improved ;)

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nice post
i love it

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