So a couple of days ago I got the oil paints out and excitedly squeezed out lots of wonderful bright colours onto my pallet and with a feeling of childish glee I began to scoop up large blobs of gooey paint and started slapping it onto the canvas.
As the canvas began to get covered with colour my excitement began to turn to frustration as the mess unfolding in front of my eyes seemed to be a million miles from the vision I had so clearly in my head, the more paint I put on the worse it got until finally in a mad fit of rage and sulking like a toddler while muttering to myself about what a useless human being I was and even more useless artist I was, I took a rag and started to swipe at the canvas scraping huge dollops of muddy, milky paint from it!
4 dark days of depression followed.. 4 long days full of self loathing and shame of my failings as an artist as a man as a human being, I didn't even deserve to exist!!
Finally I found the energy and the courage once again to enter the studio and face my demons, this time I was going to do it right, this time I was going to show the art gods I was worthy of their love..
With bold strokes and a confident heart but with my recent failings still in the back of my mind, I began to apply the paint once again to the canvas, this time the vision in my mind began to emerge onto the blank canvas in front of me until finally........
The feeling was too good to stop now!! so I set up a second canvas and began to shovel the paint on with my pallet knife, everything was working so well and feeling great!! Finally I stepped back and it was finished!!!
I love this painting so much!! :)
So the moral of the story? DONT GIVE UP! ONE BAD PAINTING DOESNT MAKE YOU A BAD ARTIST, BE THANKFUL FOR THOSE BAD PAINTINGS WHEN IT JUST DOESNT WORK BECAUSE NEXT TIME YOU TRY IT'LL GIVE YOU THAT EXTRA FIRE IN YOUR BELLY TO MAKE IT WORK!!!
I hope you have a great day reader, may you never give up creating your dreams!
Big love,
KG.