There were a lot of years in my twenties when I found it difficult to organize my thoughts into words. It was like I didn't know who I really was, or maybe it was the excessive drinking that confused my brain. During those times I would draw and I never had any clear idea of what I was going to create. For me, drawing is the same as experiencing subconscious impulses. I also never thought of myself as an "artist" so I was never thinking about who would see my drawings. I drew for myself only.
It wasn't until college that I discovered I loved to draw.
It was during my math class that I began to doodle one day. My doodling soon turned into giant drawings, done meticulously in pen and ink. I never took an art class, as I never considered myself to be an "artist". Doodling was just something I did unconsciously while my mind focused on math lectures. It then turned into one of my hobbies I did on the weekends.
Most of my drawings contain a melting post of subconscious impulses, urges, neurotic fears and feelings.
Fear is one of my primary muses and it tends to find its voice within my drawings frequently. The drawing above contains Japanese characters and at the time, during college, I was memorizing about 50 new characters per week. I also spent a lot of time being terrified of contracting STD's.
This photograph of me dressed up wearing a mask and a biker was the inspiration for the above drawing:
The rest of my drawings captured different musician friends and random people I met:
And I'll end with a self-portrait that was done with scratch board:
All art and images by @stellabelle
If you're on Twitter, you can follow me there as well: @stellabelle
I also have a YouTube channel, so if you're into watching somewhat odd videos, have a look. If you're on Linkedin, guess what, I'm there too, maybe you have a good idea we could implement?
My book, Un-Crap Your Life: Navigating Life's Crappiest Situations is available in ebook or paperback on Amazon.
I also co-authored the official Steemit 101 ebook that is available on Amazon for 99 cents.
These are most assuredly the mad sketchings of an artist, even if you didn't realize you were one.
My favorite is your take on the photo with the biker and that mask. I love the photo just as much as the creation it inspired.
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ha ha! I guess you're right! The story of the biker in a corn field is weird:
During college my best friend and I often did creative stuff like make movies and art. One time we decided to take photos in a corn field. Well, this biker dude somehow found us and asked if we were making porno films (which we definitely weren't). It was actually really scary because we were alone out there, and had no idea what he was going to do. That photo caught me in my panic, and we ran to my car right after he showed up on his bike. This is a photo of my friend at the time with a fake gun earlier in the same day. It was kind of like we lived in a fantasy world of our own creation. Artists do this kind of thing..
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Wow, for such an unnerving situation, this photo looks perfectly staged. I love that. I think it's the hand placement with the mask that gives it a classic film vibe.
I'm just glad the biker was a curious, potential perv instead of a maniac predator!
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Yes, me too.
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My pick is the one drawed with blue pen.
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There's a story behind that one too.............I drew it out of panic while I was about to break up with my boyfriend.....
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I've chosen that because I feel loneliness, charm and introversion in it. It's not only fear but a problem and its solution at the same time.
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@stellabelle, I'm a little horny now. Nice post
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Really? why? I'm not being snarky, here, but I don't really understand which ones? The sunflower one?
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It was kind of a joke, but the second from the bottom. Love the art.
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I'm liking your style. I just don't have that sort of imagination
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I could be insane, also? Ha ha! I haven't drawn anything in awhile but maybe I should to see what's inside my mind.................
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Very cool shit @stellabelle.
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I really dig these, @stellabelle !
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definitely an artist :-)
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The nice thing about fear is that you can choose to observe it in stead of letting it rule your thoughts and behaviour. Don't you hate aphorisms?
Some of those pictures are quite unnerving, btw. Well-drawn, but unnerving.
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The main reason I draw is that i'm hyper-sensitive and easily unnerved, so it's not a surprise. There's a reason a lot of artists are considered to be insane.........fear consumes some and provides the necessary fuel...
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WOW! I particularly love the one with all the japanese sign and penises and cameltoe. Really nice drawing.
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