Art update, digital 'engravings'

full version: https://ibb.co/esnQBz

Hello Steemit boys and girls!

This has been a long post in the making, as I'm sure you'll notice from my absence. I've been gathering up some material to share, but sadly I also did a good share of procrastination. there have been some thoughts that occupy me in the last couple of weeks that I wanted to combine as I see that they are related to one another.

This feels like an auspicious time for me to post, given how I feel about Steem and also it's the beginning of a new year in the Jewish calendar and the final stretch of the October holidays. I also had some time to focus on drawing and I'd like to share with you the direction that I am following right now. we are post-HF20 - big shout out to all the great developers that toil tirelessly in making this platform awesome!
we are at what I believe is the bottom in price for STEEM in 2018. also, my analysis of the stock market (U.S) tells me we might be seeing a serious pull-back in stock and push in cryptocurrencies soon (you know I'm not close to being an expert but I have some methodology).

The Sleuth

There was a scene that was particularly heartbreaking for me in a movie that I've watched a while back called Naked (1993). it was when the film protagonist/anti-hero type character wanders around London at night and goes into an office building. once in he starts a conversation with the security guard on duty. this guard always works the night shift. at some point, he asks the guard whether his job is boring to him. the guard answers - yes, there is not much to do at his job, but I have a lot of dead work time to read and gain knowledge and know more and more about the inter-workings of this world. he goes on a short tirade about how the world is rotten and society is skewed, but power comes to those that seek education and see above the "delusion" that keep the masses servile and conquered.

source: 'Ferdy on Films' blog

I empathize deeply with that character, as it is obvious that this man is fooling himself. my empathy keeps growing as the years pass and more and more of my life experience resonate with that archetype in that movie. I had a similar feeling to what the guy felt when I was at the army, covering night-shifts. later, that feeling came back when I was at College burning the midnight oil. now, after a period of continuous employment (which thankfully I'm still in) my works sleep cycles have somewhat normalized i.e. I go to sleep earlier and work in the mornings. some people are night owls, but not me. however at some point, I have managed to convince myself that I am more productive and focused at nights- but that was an error, stemming from the fact that nights may be tranquil if for the fact that most human interaction happen during the day.

Conspiracy Mind

Being introverted I have this insatiable drive to be reclusive, at the cost of opportunity, health and eventually happiness. the REASON that night-guard was delusional is not that his sentiment about the world is incorrect (to a great degree). the reason is that he wouldn't place himself in a place to fix it, or that he could at least benefit himself from the evil nature of man - or, strive to make himself happier through cultivating relationships with others.
What he is doing is falsely waiting to the point he himself is empowered enough to face the terrors of this world, while other surely less intelligent of maybe less-competent men reap all the harvest of not only his measly labor - but of all the abundance that this world has to offer them. this type of character goes by many names in modern jargon: the beta, the low-status male, the "nice guy", incel (to some extent), agreeable-person and other terms I've heard people use. please notice I've written MALE on purpose, as this type of personality is becoming predominantly male in our day and age. I realize the I might have committed a misnomer now but you car maybe agree that all the categories mentioned above are related to the deprivation of meaningful relationship with people and reclusiveness.

This kind of existence inevitably leaves one more exposed to the humm of his own thoughts, that echo and build up in the presence of a vacuum. the solitary environment often go well with the paranoid inclinations of some people. especially those who are exposed to the endless reservoir of information that is the internet without inter-personal interaction to channel this information into. conversations with others (yes, including small-talk) help the mind sift the mass of information it ingests on the internet, and even offer resistance. while unpleasant, resistance is the way to make formidable ideas like a valley carved into the landscape by a constant stream of water. I'm not suggesting it a good idea to debate everyone all of the time. but beware.

Conspiracy "theories" (as opposed to knowledge of REAL conspiracies) flourish in the shadows like mildew. people with too much time to think and a capable mind fall into a trap of ever convulsing and obscure ideas that set them on the wrong track. only given a slight resistance those hyper-complex machinations will dissipate into nothing like a column of dust. there are no shortage of people who have written about the dangers of echo-chambers, including myself- so let me not belabor the point. call me a hypocrite as you may, since I'll willingly admit that I'm writing this at 02:47 AM on a friday night. my excuse is that my holiday vacation only ends on Wednesday, and I'm still super-charged from meeting with my friends earlier :)

Where I'm at

As I've stated, my desire to stay awake at night and delve into some kind of work is very strong. what I'll do is I draw, binge youtube videos (mostly tutorials) and read technical stuff like - "Trading in the shadow of smart money"/ Gavin Holmes, which I'm re-reading at the moment.

what does all of that have to do with my art blog??

Let me explain:
Discovering more reason to be pessimistic about our reality doesn't get us very far in the journey towards peace and prosperity. the truth nihilism is like a fata morgana in the middle of the desert. you can't REALLY know how things are going without making an ongoing effort to fix them. they one thing I feel that I can give to this community is artwork. take as much truth from it as you find in it, or take my commentary. whichever truth you find, I'm sure it's more then I'm able to see in it myself.

full version:

I like to inform myself with many things- for example, I've been addicted to a YouTube channel called "Theoria Apophasis" which is hosted by a guy named Ken Wheeler. he is a photographer, a translator of ancient Greek as he proclaims, and what appears to me as a science maverick. I can't fully determine whether he's fully a kook or genius. that's because most of the things he talks about are beyond my level of understanding. but I give him the benefit of the doubt and he does seem to make A WHOLE lot sense to me.
if you are kind to enlighten me with what you see I will grateful. that's why I'm posting here. I hope that you see it as an invitation to engage with me in the comments. why am I mentioning this?
I like to look at ideas, even those that are not fully within my intellectual reach, and distill them to something I can be inspired by. my cerebral understanding of reality which grows when I'm exposed to this kind of information. compliments my artistic intuition. and I always try to go after the pieces of the puzzle that I'm missing, even though I'm sure the nature of reality is 'incomplete' but that only make the quest to know more compelling.

Once again I'd like to thank all of you followers who chose to remaind subscribed to me. thank you for getting me this far. tell me if you would like to know more or have technical questions or anything else to ask. I wanted to talk a bit about technical stuff but I feel that this post is already long enough and I consider uploading another post detailing this kind of material. I hope to see steemit doing well, not just the price but all the metrics go in our favor. have a great week and steem on!