2014 was the year when someone shattered my heart into bits and pieces of shit. I was devastated. I got lost. I was hurt. I was crying myself to sleep every single effin night. I tried to forget the memories. I tried to avoid the places we used to go. I did everything I can to ease every inch of pain my heart was bearing. It took me days, for weeks, even months. I was still in pain. I was still in the process of moving on when I thought I already did.

I knew I had to do something because it was becoming unhealthy for me. I needed a thing to help myself, to totally move on. I did things I never knew I could. I traveled to new places. I had more time with my family and friends. I was able to do things I used to do before like watching my favorite series and play video games again. Then I realized, I've been missing out a lot lately. I was so consumed by my past relationship that I forgot who I was and that my life revolved only around my ex-lover. It changed me. I was a mess. I was reckless then.

It was in 2015 that I started out with new hobbies to make myself more productive, and still to move on. I didn't want to drown myself with work all the time so I was looking for something that I'm more passionate about. It was art. Anything that has to do with being crafty made me feel alive again.

I was greatly interested in calligraphy. I looked up to great artists like Abbey Sy and June Digan whom I follow their Instagram accounts. They inspired me to do the same until it progressed from calligraphy to hand-lettering, to typography.

I started off with the materials I had, ordinary ball pens, colored pencils and bond papers. I love doing hand lettering ever since I can remember so I made use of the skills I have. I enhanced it. I studied more of the techniques. I practiced every day. I explored different media until I found brush pens.

This was one artwork I did way back in 2015. One of the first few pieces I made.

Brush pens are eminently used for modern calligraphy. I've seen artists using this medium in their artworks. I was envious because I never had one before nor had the chance to learn how to use it until the early months of 2016. I was on vacation in Cebu when I decided to start with my brush calligraphy journey. There was even this one instance that I impulsively bought brush pens in a renowned bookstore because General Santos City doesn't have shops that sell them. I hoarded. I got obsessed. I invested. My family and friends supported me too. My parents, when they went out of town, brought me calligraphy pads and brush pens as pasalubongs, gifts brought home. My close friends even gave me new colored pens. It made me happy.

Unbeknownst to me, I was drifting away from the heartache. I'm in love again. I'm in love with something new - calligraphy. Everyone starts off as a newbie. Every day up until now, I'm still learning. Whenever I have the free time, I spend it on making hand-lettering artworks, sometimes painting.

My decision of getting into calligraphy was one of the best decisions I made although along the way was a bumpy ride. It was not always about rainbows and butterflies. There were days when I think my work is not good, so I scrap it out. I make a new one instead. I didn't stop because I know that through practice, you'll get better in making an ordinary piece to an extraordinary one.

This was the very first artwork I made using brush pens. I know it sucks. It was crappy. The letters were not good but I was proud back then. I even posted this on my Facebook account with a caption, 'Brush Calligraphy is love' last January 30, 2016.

This was posted on February 10, 2016. 11 days after my very first brush pen artwork.

It was hard using the brush pens for the first time. As I said, I didn't stop until I got the hang of using the pens. I was able to learn how to properly control my strokes. If you can see and compare the first artwork I made, it was really different from the second one. Downward strokes should be thicker than the upward strokes. Obviously, the first one was uneven. The second one was better.

I made more artworks since then. I was addicted. It was my stress reliever. I could spend my entire day just doing this and I don't get bored.

As a frustrated artist, because I'm a nurse by profession and I loved calling myself as one type of artist, a friend of mine shared a link on me on facebook because he knew I'll be interested with it. He shared a calligraphy workshop for a cause. I was indeed interested that I immediately filed an off-duty from work on the said day of the event. That Calli for a cause happened April 23, 2016.

Photo grabbed from Sharla Raye Billena, the one who organized the event.

It was an ecstatic feeling to have joined it. That was the very first time I was able to attend such an event. I gained new friends having the same passion that I love. It was then in this workshop I learned about using watercolor and a brush. Right then I knew that water brush pens existed. I got jealous again that I searched for those everywhere and found it in Cebu, again.

When I make my artworks now, I use these water brush pens more. I found it challenging and impressive at the same time because you have to control two things when using this, your strokes and the amount of water. Calligraphy was even more fun than before because unlike brush pens, you can only use the colors that you have but with water brush pens, you can easily mix colors that you want with watercolor. I was able to explore and definitely learned more. I still practice a lot and still during my free time. I do a lot of drills before making a final output and yes, I share it not only on my Facebook account but also on my Instagram.

These were some of the artworks I did. I'm not saying I'm a pro on this one. I just do my best. I'm still not excellent at it though, because, for me, I still suck sometimes. I also learned that giving up is not an option in life. If you have dreams, reach for it. Strive to become better, not bitter, prolly pertaining to my previous heartache. 😂😂😂