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steemitdiaries (52) in asexual • 7 years ago (edited)

deleted because i didn't want it permanently on my page x

7 years ago by steemitdiaries (52)

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elementm (61) · 7 years ago

I suspect that there are enough asexuals in the world for you to start a relationship with one based on trust/love/affection rather than fear. You could also consider non-asexual partners who have chosen to abstain from sex. I'm not trying to say that finding love is easy but if you're not opposed to searching online, there may be more options than you think.

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3 votes

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steemitdiaries (52) · 7 years ago

Not opposed but don't expect to actually find that with anyone, just hope I do :)

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1 vote

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abhiroop85 (39) · 7 years ago

Are you ok asexualitic or ace-book.net? There is 30k+ strong network out there. But not every one is ace complying with dictionary definition, at least what I have gathered so far, but, may be you should join and find out, you will feel better for sure :)

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2 votes

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steemitdiaries (52) · 7 years ago

I'm asexual as in not sexually attracted to people, i used to be sex repulsed but i've warmed up to the idea, honestly i have no idea where i am or what my sexuality is not lol, i know its just harder for me than most people. thank you!

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amberyooper (69) · 7 years ago

I am more or less asexual myself. I didn't start out that way, but I was never very motivated about sex, and the older I got, the less interest I had.
I think most asexuals experience it in their own unique way.

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2 votes

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steemitdiaries (52) · 7 years ago

For sure! Asexuals are often written off as late bloomers so it's nice knowing it can go the opposite way as well. Without the other factors like lonliness and unacceptance, it is nice not having my mind filled with sex. I have so much more time to focus on other things lol

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1 vote

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rafadezelanda (52) · 7 years ago

Firstly, I have two asexual friends- totally normal.
The way I see it, asexuality is a lack of polarity with others. I just wrote about this: https://steemit.com/life/@rafadezelanda/liberte-egalite-and-fraternite-in-the-boudoir
Is there maybe someone you feel an energetic push/pull with?

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2 votes

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steemitdiaries (52) · 7 years ago

i think so. just never sexually lol

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gruppler (46) · 7 years ago (edited)

I want to fall in love and have relationships, one day a marriage too, but the way people react to me wanting those things without the sexual aspect that comes with them made me realize it's not realistic.

They may think it's not realistic, but that doesn't mean you have to adopt that perspective. It seems like everyone in our culture considers masturbation normal, but in many other cultures (and even in groups within our own), it's not. People who believe they're behaving normally tend to be blind to the possibilities of other norms.

Right now, the popular thing is to be open and casual about sex. It's not popular to "save yourself for marriage" so people who do don't talk about it much. But they are out there, and are probably more numerous than you think! Not everyone thinks sex is the ultimate pastime.

I tried coming to terms with being single forever, never having a family, never getting to wake up to the love of my life every morning. I couldn't. I don't think that is something you can come to terms with.

I've been there! I struggled with loneliness for quite some time after my last relationship (which ended several years ago). I'm still single, but now I'm very happy. I hope to have romance in my life again one day, but for now, I'm enjoying the time and freedom.

You don't need to come to terms with being single forever to be okay with it now. In my experience, trying to find the right person is pretty much hopeless. The best relationships seem to be orchestrated just for you serendipitously. Also, I think the best way to attract a good mate is to become the best 'you.' Most people act differently to attract mates instead of being themselves. When you're in a place where you're happy in your own skin, you shine like the sun. There's nothing more attractive than that, I think.

Thanks for sharing! I don't really know what it's like to be asexual, but I feel like I can empathize a little better now.

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1 vote

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steemitdiaries (52) · 7 years ago

I've actually never had a problem with being single, I only really had a boyfriend in middle school and he was just a friend, of course nothing serious at that age. And I always saw how other girls acted when it came to relationships, being fake and desperate and settling and it always saddened me. I agree, that's not the best way. Even now, I don't want to be in a relationship because I don't want to become dependent, I know I would and that it would not be healthy for either of us. I'm glad I have this time to better myself. I just fear being alone long after I am ready to settle down.
Maybe there are people who will not mind that I am this way, but I want to be able to give them everything they want, and I don't think I'll ever be able to. I guess that's the part I'm really having trouble coming to terms with. Finding someone, getting married, being happy.. but have my guilt conscious growing, alongside their resentment.

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1 vote

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magick323 (54) · 7 years ago

I just want to get healthy again and make friends. Good post!

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1 vote

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bitcoinsky (44) · 7 years ago

Sometimes I wish I was asexual...sexual frustration sucks. Cheers @steemitdiaries.

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1 vote

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rafadezelanda (52) · 7 years ago

the grass is always greener ;)

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steemitboard (66) · 7 years ago

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