My grandma says everyone is a sinner. It will not matter if you're young or old. According to her, the only ones who will go to heaven are those who are blessed, or have lived a life that is holy or that of a saint. If you don't go to church on Sundays, have not confessed your sins to a priest, do not pray the rosary, then you'll definitely go to the purgatory for as long as you're a Roman Catholic. Those who are not Katoliko, however, will surely go directly to hell. I realized then that I was lucky for being born a Roman Catholic.
My grandma said that only saints can go to heaven when they die, the rest of the us who are Catholics will need to wait for our turn to get there while we wait in the purgatory. She says that the prayers from the Church, and those who care deeply for our soul can help us reach the number of prayers needed to reach Heaven. She unfortunately was not too clear on the exact number of prayers needed per Catholic soul or if your age when you die will have an impact to the number of prayers needed to get to heaven. Will age matter? Like the older you are the more prayers you'll need. And how about the size of the soul, will my size matter?
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My grandma said that when I die, my soul will definitely go to the purgatory. And she said not to worry so much because the purgatory is not such a bad place. She describes it as a city with more people, it can get overcrowded as years go by. And like how the living lives off their salaries, the soul of the dead will live off the prayers from the living. So the more prayers you get the richer you are in purgatory. Just like Metro Manila, there'd be buildings, parks, establishments, and souls will have work too. It isn't so different as how it is now, except that everyone do not age. They retain the way they look when they left the world of the living.
I started thinking will the world of the dead not get crowded since there are but very few people who really go to Heaven? My grandma said not to worry because the afterlife is huge.
My grandma said that souls in heaven will experience eternal pleasure and true happiness, while the souls in hell will suffer the eternal torment and punishment. In hell, the soul will be burned and eaten by dead worms. I find it weird that souls can be burned, and eaten by dead worms - DEAD freakin' worms! What is that? I wonder.
My grandma has died a few years later.
I am no longer a Catholic. I no longer go to Church. I can no longer remember the last time I confessed my sins to a priest. I do not pray the rosary.
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Out of the 10 holy commandments, the only divine law I have not disobeyed is "Thou shall not kill" unless you count the number of times I killed in my mind the folks I hate, and the time I contemplated on murdering myself. I truly am going to hell. I will burn in the fiery pits of hell, and worms will eat my body for all eternity, while demons would poke me with their pitchfork. I can't help but think that all these dark thoughts about hell, suffering and eternal damnation is a massive joke perpetrated by mad men.
I'm tired of being scared. I am no longer scared. I honestly think that life is meant to be lived, and that the punishment that one receives in life is torment enough. Luck also plays a very important role, and the randomness of things can result to accidents, and that is just how it is. Life can suck, but it can also be pretty amazing.
It is tiring to be good because some men in dress has told me to be good. It is too burdensome to think that I need to earn points to get to the good side of some divine god. I am my own person. I own my thoughts and my actions, and I am fully accountable for my decisions and the results that it will bring. The gifts of life both the good and evil they bring are all mine, and no divine can hold claim to these gifts.
I am an atheist. I am proud of my humanity and my mind. I am happy to live life to its fullest.
My grandma says, atheist are satanists! To my grandma I say "Thanks!", gives her a thumbs up, and my best devilish wink.
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I do not own the images I used for this article. All images were from Google, and I made sure to only use images that are labeled "For Noncommercial Reuse"
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