This is this kind of crazy idea I had when I was - Y'know, about 10 years ago, I was looking down at my desk, and I saw a red paperclip sitting there. And I said, "Y'know what, I remember this game called 'Bigger and Better' where you start with something small, trade it for something bigger, and then you repeat. I wonder what would happen if I took this red paperclip and tried to trade it?" I posted a picture of that red paperclip on a website called "craigslist." Two girls named Ronnie and Karina responded and said, "Hey, that's pretty cool! We'd like to trade with you. We got a pen shaped like a fish." (Laughter) I was really excited, this was a cool pen.
This was bigger and better than a red paperclip. "How far can I go with this idea? Anybody want a pen shaped like a fish?" "Absolutely, my name is Annie, and I've got a doorknob with a crazy face on it." (Laughter) Two trades in, I've already gone way up from a paperclip, and I was thinking, "How far can I go with this? Maybe I can keep going until one day I owned a house or something from this." Shawn says, "Come down to my place, I'll cook your burgers, and I'll trade you my camping stove for that doorknob, because I need it to fix the knob on my stovetop espresso maker.
(Laughter) We're moving liabilities into assets; we're creating value. We're improving each other's lives, albeit on a small scale. But the Sergeant, David J, of the US Marine Corps, he said, "I've been looking for that exact model of camping stove. I've got extra generators, would you like an electric generator?" To me this was a dream come true: an electric generator. Finally, my teenage dreams of being able to create power were realizing. (Laughter) Unfortunately, most people on the internet didn't suffer from a blackout, they didn't need power. So, my trading in for bigger and better things that I thought had value turned into a liability. It took me several weeks to be able to trade this.
But I actually found another person just recently out of his teenage years who did want to create power with this generator. His name was Martin, and he was in New York City. He says, "Look, I've got an empty beer keg, I'll trade you an IOU to fill the keg with beer and a neon with "Budweiser" sign. What do you say?" So I met up with him. We made the trade, and here's us showing all parts of the trade work. (Laughter) I rebranded the mishmash of IOU beer keg and neon "Budweiser" sign, and called it an instant party. Does anybody out there want to party? "My name is Michel Brett, I'm a famous radio and TV personality in the province of Quebec, and I want to make a trade with you." "Absolutely Michel, what do you have to trade?" "I'll trade you my worst snowmobile." I was intrigued just by the idea of somebody's worst snowmobile. It implied that he not only had more than one snowmobile, but he was kind of cheeky and willing to prove to me that, you know, I've got better ones, but I'll trade you my worst.
I was really happy to trade with him. He was a great guy, and it was a pretty nice snowmobile. Seeing how it was the middle of winter in Canada, and it was very cold, and a snowmobile at that time of year had more value than in the summer, a snowmobile magazine called "SnoRiders West" called me up and said, "Hey, we would like to offer you two trips for two to the Canadian Rockies in exchange for that snowmobile. It'll probably give our magazine some publicity, and who doesn't want to go to the Rockies at this time of year?" I said, "Yes, alright, what's the catch?" They said, "The catch is you can come to the Rockies; you can't come to the town of Yahk in British Columbia." I said, "Alright, I got to find a loophole around this." So we decided to kind of blackmail a national news organization. It's a really long story, but what ended up happening was I got on TV wearing the logo for the shirt I was wearing.
It was called Cintas, the uniform company. It was just sort of an inside joke: my cousin's husband had given me this shirt ... an even longer story to explain the whole thing. However, the head honcho of that company saw me on TV with his corporate uniform on, and said, "Wait a second, this is a huge liability to me, but it's also an opportunity." And we met up one night. He says, "I'd like to make you a trade. What d'you say?" And I'm like: "I think that's the perfect way we can work together without selling our souls to the corporate ownership devil." He said, "Great, let's meet up." So we met up. He offered this van for the trip for two to the Rockies, I drove the van to the Rockies; he flew because the trip included that. And I wound up with this giant, huge machine, much bigger than a paperclip, arguably better, worst fuel mileage, but to transport a lot better things than just that.
So, I said, "Does anybody out there want to trade?" And I realized bigger and better was just really getting bigger, but how could it get better, what was the opportunity here? And I realized that I've been offered a recording contract, a piece of paper, a promise, an opportunity to someone who is good at music. "Does anybody want to be a recording artist?" So I traded the van for the recording contract with Brandon. He used it to drive around in his band, which was currently traveling around in a 1988 Volkswagen Jetta. Moving up to the van really helped him out. I took the recording contract.
"Does anybody want to be a recording artist?" It turns out pretty much everyone in the world wants to record music. (Laughter) I was offered my soul from a soul singer, a pinkie finger. Someone actually offered me their virginity, which is - (Laughter) I don't know what the legalities, or - Needless to say, I said no, because Jody said to me, "Look, I've got a half a duplex in Phoenix, Arizona. Half of it's unrented. I'll trade a year free rent in my duplex for that. What do you say?" I said yes. I went down there. We made the trade in front of the white picket fence.
Very Americana. Now I had a year free rent. Her next door - one of her tenants actually - Her next-door neighbor, Lesley, found out about this. She says, "I want that free rent." She offered me up an afternoon with her boss. At first I was like this sort of sucks, like oo-er-hoo ... (Laughter) because I didn't know who her boss was.
She stood up - "I'll bring him out." I'm, "This is weird." She brings out her boss's head. Her boss was Alice Cooper because she worked at Alice Cooper's town in Phoenix as the manager of the restaurant. I was like, "An afternoon with Alice Cooper, that's pretty amazing, what's it's going to be worth?" His tour manager called me up and says, "We're on tour in Fargo, North Dakota. Come up, experience an afternoon with Alice Cooper, see what it's like." And then after our afternoon this happened live on stage.
(Video starts) (Cheering) (Applause) (Video ends) Alice is a really nice guy - this picture displays how nice he is. (Laughter) "Look, it's great you're doing this. You'll find an Italian billionaire who's a big Alice Cooper fan. He'll probably have several mansions. He'd easily trade you one of them. Promise me one thing?" "What's that?" Promise you won't trade an afternoon with me for a weekend with the Rolling Stones or a night with KISS.
(Laughter) I said, "Alright, I'll try." The phone rang, and it was Mark. Mark says, "I'm an amateur photographer with a lot of KISS memorabilia. Are you be interested in any of that?" This is hard. I really wanted to trade with him. "What do you have?" He says, "Well, I've got this, I've got that, KISS posters, KISS guitars, a KISS snow globe." When he said KISS snow globe, I immediately said, "Yes, and only the snow globe." So, met up with Mark, traded the afternoon with Alice Cooper, a priceless opportunity for a KISS snow globe. And the whole world kind of sort of like oo-oo-oo - and I was like this is great, it lights up, changes colors. (Laughter) Here's some of the various online responses from the video. This is the worst trade that I've ever heard of, bar none.
(Laughter) This is possibly the dumbest decision I've ever seen anyone make ... ever. (Laughter) Except for the people on Jerry Springer. (Applause) Other people were much more eloquent in their delivery. (Laughter) And this was the only time during the entire project where I had another trade lined up. Every other trade had come along serendipitously, and it'd just been this amazing experience. However, two months previous to all this, this guy had called me up and said, "Hey, my name is Corbin Bernsen, I'm a huge Hollywood actor. I'm making a movie and I'd like to offer a paid, speaking, credited role in a Hollywood film. Are you interested in trading for that?" I had just done the recording contract trade, and was like, "Yes, absolutely, this sounds perfect." He hung up the phone, and I'm, "Corbin Bernsen, who is this guy?" It turns out he is very well known, he's been in many major movies, and he also, according to Wikipedia, has the world's largest snow globe collection, over 6,500 snow globes.
(Laughter) Since it was Wikipedia I knew it was true, (Laughter) and I just sort of kept it in the back of my head. When Mark said he had a KISS snow globe, I was like,"This is perfect." Called Corbin: "Do you want the KISS snow globe?" "Send a picture." Sent one. Corbin called back, "Not only do I want it, I need it." (Laughter) While these comments were coming in like dumbasses, etc, I had no backup plan, and luckily for the project and for Corbin, he didn't get hit by a bus and he was still alive, and we made a trade. He showed us into his snow-globe lair of over 6,000 snow globes, which looks kind of like this. (Laughter) Following this, the Economic Development Officer of the town of Kipling, Saskatchewan, a fellow named Bert Roth, called me up and said, "We see that you've been doing this project. Our town has a couple extra houses that we own. Would there be a potential that maybe we could trade one of these houses for something you have?" I say, "I have a role in the movie." He's like, "That'd be perfect: What we were thinking is having a huge house warming party, a huge celebration, inviting everyone in the world to come to Kipling.
We could offer an opportunity: we'll call it 'Kipling Idol.' We'll have live auditions for the movie role, here, right in town." I said, "That's absolutely perfect, Bert. What you need to do to make this happen?" He's,"Well, we need town council approval." I say, "Alright, if you can get it, that'd be great." He called me back two weeks later: "I did it, I got town council approval, we can make the trade." Turns out town council approval was getting two people to put their hand in the air. But, full credit to Bert, he made it happen. And we traveled to Kipling, and there we are. That's how you trade a paperclip for a house. And that's the house. (Applause) The best part about this whole project is fun, making the trades for things.
Easier to tell the story with the objects, but it was the people behind it. In Kipling, apparently, Mounties sign the deeds to traded houses. We had a huge house warming party, over 3,500 people came to the town of Kipling, a town of under 1,000 people, for an entire weekend. There were live auditions on stage, 500 to 600 people in the crowd including the volunteer fire department, in a capacity 300-person building. So, yeah, they let it slide, but it was an amazing experience. Corbin Bernsen went out on stage, the next day in town, and said, "Here's the winner of the movie role. Written on his back was the name Nolan Hubbard. Nolan Hubbard had just graduated from high school, was making minimum wage at The Bottle Depot. Two months after this picture was taken, he was down in Los Angeles working on a film with Corbin. An amazingly talented person who, without this opportunity to make a film, might have not had that chance. And it was all about the people saying, "Yes, let's build something, let's do something together, let's collaborate, let's see what happens." That was what one red paperclip was all about. There, at this house warming party in Kipling, Saskatchewan, Karina had the original red paperclip around her neck in a picture frame.
And people were saying to me like, "Wow, you traded with a paperclip, but don't you wish you had it back now?" (Laughter) That's got to be worth a lot of money. That's got to be - It's really famous. And I said to them that day what I still say today: "It wasn't about the paperclip, it's not about having it, or selling it for what it's worth. If I hadn't traded away that red paperclip, I'd just be a guy sitting there at a desk holding a paperclip in his hand, wondering what would happen if I did something with the paperclip." So ... if you have a paperclip, trade it away. You might only get a fish pen, but it might be the single step that leads to an amazing journey. And, for me, that journey will be off this red circle.
As found on Youtube
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