One day, when I least expect it ...
One day, when you least expect him to meet a person, cross his or her gaze and the most intimate part of you already knows that he or she will change your life, but you, on the contrary, heedless, fly over and proceed along your way as you do every day. Arrive in the evening, you lie down on your bed and that look comes to mind and unexpectedly perceive a strange emotion that makes your body vibrate... how? has it always been a stone's throw away from me, have I crossed it a thousand times and only now do I understand? No. It's your most intimate part that has decided to be heard, wants you happy, wants you alive and makes you think that that person could be your perfect half... but does not know, that even if you had seen us well and far away, the situations of real life will prevent this triumph. Thus begins a race towards the impossible, begins to make sure that he knows you, to understand if he also thinks the same thing, to pretend to meet him randomly and the glances cross each other, smiles become more mischievous and finally exchange two words.... then three... then four... then four. Then a coffee and finally comes the right evening! Scroll down the fence and find it, beautiful, sitting on your garden sofa.
It's them for you... embarrassed look at him, regard him, listen to him and hope that he kisses you, that he is overwhelmed by the same passion that is vibrating your body. You'll touch your hand and the excitement rises to the upper floors of a skyscraper, where you're closer to the sky where everything is more blue, mysterious and infinite. Look at you and his lips touch yours.... what are you doing? Have you rebounded? A fourteen-year-old ill-fated! No! Your most intimate part thinks of us to block these futile thoughts and let you fall inert between those lips, and those arms. Enjoy for the first time the taste of the forbidden, of pure desire that will burn you for the whole of your next future... but it is intoxicating that feeling that makes you feel alive, even the mere feeling of her hair slipping between your fingers makes you discover how even touch can make you live emotions with your eyes closed. Be.... keep your eyes closed just to abandon yourself to him and drop all your defense (it's so that wins the most intimate part of you... that's how you lose the rationality that has witnessed you up to that crossroads of glances!)! Ok. You understand that he also wants the same thing... kisses him, kisses you, resting you again and again and again and you are naked the next day on his bed, and then on the street in a car, in a hotel room, on your home armchair, on the landing of the house, in his office and so the years pass. unforgettable moments, every time you think that it must be the last.... yes... the last one because every time he leaves for you is a pain in the heart, and every time he chooses her, he remains with a feeling of emptiness that you can't fill with anything..... ignore it, live your daily life, work, put a beautiful mask on you and laugh with friends, relatives and colleagues... but they don't know the emptiness that feels your soul.
There are days in which you seem to go crazy, you feel like a lion in your cage because you can't fight against the wind, against the choices of others and even if you think you have done everything to make him understand how important it is for you, you understand that if he also thought of you as you would like, in reality the responsibilities and family duties of both impose certain choices. Then when he's taken by the despair and tiredness of waiting for you to decide to turn the page, he always reappears as beautiful as the first day of thirteen years ago. He always does so, he is absent for months, sometimes even for a couple of years, leaving you there on the edge of a cliff in which you are about to sink, but thanks to your rationality you cling and save yourself and it is at that precise moment, when you say "yes I'm too good I do it alone even without him", here he returns! And why returns? It always comes back every time and every time and as if we had never been lost, every time I vibrate like the first day, every time I am intoxicated by its presence, every time I desire it more and more and every time I realize that all this will not lead to anything. So why is it coming back? So why do I continue to expect it? The most intimate part of me does not answer... or does not want to answer because I know what the truth is, but she wants to continue to bask in the idea that he loves it but cannot choose it. What will the truth be? Certainly it is that my inner part always wins, always wins him who always finds me, wins this emotion that never stops feeding himself, wins the time that does not make me forget, wins you who find him at his awakening, win my duties and my responsibilities. But shouldn't it be my perfect half? It's just my longest dream.