Wouldn't you like to get paid to drink free beer? No, you don't? You fucking liar! I know you do so listen up.

There is just one catch, however.

I am always trying to think of ways to get what I want without paying an arm and a leg. When the wife start moaning and groaning that we haven't had a proper 'date' out of the house I start looking for jobs at restaurants or entertainment venues.

No, I'm not talking about becoming a waiter or working the cook line. I'm talking about picking up a secret shopping job.

This shit is amazing. You go and act like a normal customer, but all the while you are secretly judging how filthy they let the place get before they deem it worthy enough to wipe down.

Oh, and who loves to secretly judge people? Women. That's why this is a great way to have a date night with your lady. She gets to judge the shit out of people and you actually come out with a couple extra benjamins in your pocket instead of forking out $50 or $60.

That's what I call a win-win.

Oh, and if there is a bar they often require you to drink a beer or two to see how competent the bartender is. Like these ones.

That's what I call a win-win-win.

Sometimes they even require you watch to see if the bartender is stealing - what fun! It's like being a private eye.

Recently the wife was showing the signs that she needed to be entertained somewhere besides the house. I managed to pick up a secret shopping job at a local bowling alley. Not bad, we both have our own bowling shoes and shit.

I mean if someone has their own bowling shoes, they must like it. Nobody wears bowling shoes for fashion.

What Secret Shopping Is Like

When I tell someone that I get paid to go eat places, they always ask me what I have to do. So I'll tell ya.

It's pretty easy. You just have to get names and descriptions of the people you interact with that work there. Often there is a list of worker positions that you have to talk to or watch. Waiter, Manager, Greeter, Cashier, Etc.

Something like this.

Waitress. Sally. 5'6”, thin build, long blonde hair. About 26 years old. Wears glasses.

Now you might say that you wouldn't remember all that. I hear ya. So what you do is text or message your wife with that info. Now you have a record to refer to later on.

Other things they ask you to check is cleanliness, wait times (to be seated, time it took entree to get to table after ordering food), amount of customers, knowledge of server (ask for a special and remember what they say, or if they push dessert a lot during your visit). Pretty simple.

After everything just text your partner and forget about it. Move on to the next. Sometimes the secret shop companies have an app you can refer to.

Most of the time you are just being a normal customer.

After the job is done, you get on the website and write a report. Don't worry, its just a questionnaire – a checklist you fill out. Take a picture of your receipt and submit it with the report. A few days later you get reimbursed and paid.

List of Legitimate Secret Shopping Companies

• Bestmark.com – Lot's of car service jobs. I always get free oil and tire rotations while getting paid $35 now.

• iSecretShop.com – A secret shopping portal. You can find a lot of different companies looking for shoppers here.

• Thesourceagents.com

• Sinclaircustomermetrics.com

• SecretHopper.com – Secret shop craft brews!

• I am sure there are more, but these are the ones I have experience with.

Go out there and get paid to eat and drink!

What do you think? Would you like to get paid to secretly judge people while consuming reimbursable food and drinks?