Do your friend, boyfriend or wife fill you with lies? Unnecessary lies that are often of no practical use? Suspicion that something is not working?
In fact, we have to distinguish between two types of liars: pathological liars and compulsive liars.
A pathological liar mind to get something and does it without worrying about the consequences that his behavior can have on others, is usually manipulative, self-referential and very little empathetic compared to the feelings of other people.
The compulsive liar does not mind to reach a specific purpose but by habit, simply by lying makes him feel better than telling the truth. Compulsive lie usually develops in childhood, in family environments where lies are necessary, so lying over time becomes an automatic response.
At the practical level it is really difficult to draw a real difference between these two types of person, because even the compulsive liar, like each one of us, can lie to get a result.
Yours is a habitual liar, here is how to recognize him:
- mind even on small things
- even when not "necessary".
- is always impatient
- tends to manipulate you either with flattery or by leveraging your sense of guilt
- is incapable of a mature emotional bond
- becomes aggressive if placed in front of the evidence of his shortcomings
- is intolerant to criticism
- is always convinced that everything is due
- do not prove remorse if you have suffered damage
- is always the fault of someone else or adverse circumstances
If you recognize in a person most of these characteristics you have only one certainty. Living with a liar is very difficult, but even more difficult to find a solution.
A liar rarely becomes aware of the damage that his behavior does to people around him and of how much he can hurt people who loves him.
A chronic liar loves his lies at least as much as he loves himself. The liar has for so long internalized the mechanism of lies that he hardly perceives as pathological, and of course, has no interest in solving a problem he thinks he does not have.
Moreover, even if it is not immediately evident, every behavior that offers relief and escape from stress creates dependence, so we can be dependent on food, smoking, alcohol, drugs and even lies, getting out of dependence is not easy and we always need a very strong motivation.
