Why do parents like big brother but not me? Why did the teacher take special care of that classmate and ignore me? Why are my colleagues so leisurely and I am so busy? Why is his status higher than mine? Why does he earn more than me? ..... With so many reasons, how can we not be angry?
There are many disappointments in people's life, so we are angry. When we look for the reasons, we find that most of the anger comes from comparison. Comparing with others blindly and blindly will lead to extreme psychological imbalance.
A person's life is like a trip, with countless bumps and muddy roads and endless spring flowers and autumn moon along the way. If our heart is always covered with gray dust, which dries up the spring of our heart, darkens our eyes, loses our vitality and morale, can our life track be beautiful?
And if we can open the window of the soul and keep a healthy and upward attitude, even if we are in adversity and besieged on all sides, we can certainly see the beautiful scenery outside the window.
There are two seriously ill patients living in the small ward of a big hospital. The house is so small that only one window can see the outside world. One of the patients' beds leans against the window, and he can sit in bed for an hour every afternoon. The other patient has to lie in a hospital bed all day long.
Every time a patient by the window sits up, he will describe the scenery outside the window to another patient. From the window, you can see the lake in the park. There are ducks and swans in the lake, where children spread bread and put model boats. Young lovers walk hand in hand under the trees. People play with balls where flowers are in full bloom and grass is green. There is a row of trees behind and a beautiful sky on the top of the trees.
Another patient listened and enjoyed every minute. He heard a child almost fall into the lake, and a beautiful girl was wearing a beautiful summer dress ... The patient's complaint made him feel as if he had witnessed what happened outside.
However, over time, his psychology became unbalanced and even became angry. He thought to himself: Why do people who sleep by the window have the right to enjoy the outside style? Why didn't I have such a chance? He doesn't feel like it. The more he thinks about it, the more he wants to change beds. He must change it!
One night, the patient lying in bed all day was staring at the ceiling and thinking about his own worries. The patient by the window suddenly woke up and coughed desperately. He always wanted to ring the bell with his hand to call the nurse in, but he couldn't. The patient lying in bed all day long just watched without help, and he felt his companion's breathing gradually stopped. The next morning, when the nurse came, the man was dead, and his body was quietly carried away.
After a while, the man asked if he could change to the bed by the window. The nurses moved him and moved him to that bed, and he felt very satisfied. After people left, he propped up his body with his elbow and labored to look out of the window … But what he saw was that there was only a blank wall outside the window. A few days later, he died of remorse and melancholy.
I am angry because I fantasize that others are enjoying their own beauty. Silent in the self-consciousness of wanting to change beds, I didn't give due help when my patients were dying. And once you achieve your goal, what is the result?
If this patient doesn't have bad thoughts and rings the bell to help another patient at night, he can still hear wonderful stories outside the window. But now that everything is late, what does he see? It is not only the ugliness of one's own soul, but also a white wall outside the window.
A person can only see the beautiful scenery on the white wall outside the window if he has beautiful images in his heart. Destiny is fair to everyone. There are earth and stars outside the window. It depends on whether you can sharpen a strong heart and a pair of intelligent eyes, and find brilliant stars through the dust of the years.
Comparing with others blindly, it is easy to cause psychological imbalance, and the unbalanced psychology makes people feel extremely anxious, contradictory and angry. Make people grumble, and even make no progress. The performance is to muddle along at work, and even worse, people will take risks and get burned. Therefore, we must maintain psychological balance. The following suggestions are the key to get rid of the misunderstanding of psychological imbalance:
Learn to compare. Psychological imbalance, mostly because of choosing the wrong comparison object, always compare with people who are stronger than themselves, and always compare their weaknesses with the advantages of others. If you can go your own way, don't compare, or really compare, compare with people who are on the same starting line, then there will be less troubles and more laughter in your life.
Looking for confidence. Self-confidence is the foundation of psychological balance. If you feel that you are inferior to others in some aspect, first of all, you should believe that you are talented, but you have not discovered or underestimated your strengths for the time being. Of course, the premise of self-confidence is that you do have a bright spot. Therefore, we should practice basic skills in peacetime.
Give vent to yourself. You have the right to get angry. Being angry without declaring it will destroy the normal function of the body, lead to toxin breeding in the body, and make people depressed and depressed. Proper venting can eliminate one's inner anger and make one summon up the courage to live again. There are many ways to vent, but you can talk to your friends and family, or you can shout when you are alone, or you can hit something a few times, and so on. Just like someone who has heard before put a basin of sand in his office, when he is angry, he rubs the sand hard, so that he can neither harm others nor hurt himself, which is a good way to vent his anger.
Looking for a harbor. Everyone needs a harbor where they can "recharge" and recuperate. Recharge when you are bored and relax when you are upset. Just like a sailing boat returning from a long voyage, you can get a rest in time in this quiet harbor. This harbor can be a boudoir full of flowers, a training class for further study and improvement, or a solo trip.
Selfless at heart. The master of destiny is himself, who should establish his own scientific world outlook and outlook on life, often think and reflect on what he has done, and be self-respecting, introspective, self-vigilant and self-motivated.
The bottom of my heart is unselfish, so long as being yourself is the greatest victory, you can get the greatest comfort.
Enjoy life. Life is beautiful. Although fate sometimes plays a joke on people and makes them fall, maybe when you fall, you will also put a gold ingot on the ground waiting for you to pick it up. Learn to appreciate the beauty of life, enjoy the gifts of nature, appreciate the advantages of others, and appreciate your own strengths.
Give your love. If you find a wallet, you might as well do a good deed, give a piece of love, and return it to the owner or give it to the police instead of worrying and worrying all day long. Give a little love to others, and you will have more love in your heart.
Return to nature. Nature is as big as a mother's bosom and as generous as God's alms. When you are bored, you might as well walk outside and return to nature. Look at the blue sky, the white clouds, and listen to the flowing water and the twittering birds. The heart will gradually calm down and happiness will come to mind inadvertently.