All in the name of safetyness! Part 3

So my saga with the local, monopolized garbage service continues. I would like to think that it is at an end, but there are more items that will inevitably be deemed unworthy of making the trip from the DPRNY to the Midwest. As for the items that have been discarded already, the last of those was finally removed by the monopolized service this morning. Those last items were the bed pieces, which were the items that were at the center of this blog series.

After the late season nor'easter that caused all the delays and confusion last week, those "special bags" I was informed would be NECESSARY (for the government workers' safetyness!) for me to purchase in order for the items to be picked up finally arrived. In the last blog on this topic, I wrote about the joys of chatting with "Sullen Sally", and how I had to, yet again, schedule a pick up for the bed pieces. With the new date approaching this week, I set out to place the bed pieces in those "special bags" so I could leave everything out at the curb and finally be done with this mess. That should at least be less painless than another conversation with "Sally", or the first blog entry's "Mopey Mary", right? If you've been paying attention thus far, then you probably know the answer to that somewhat rhetorical question...

I went outside with those "special bags" in tow to wrap the bed pieces. I checked the size of the bags and the measurements of the mattress and box spring. Everything looked good. The bags were larger than necessary, so I should have no issues. As usual, though, thinking what SHOULD happen left me slightly unprepared for what WOULD happen. Despite measuring much larger than the items I was attempting to fit inside them, those "special bags" (which, again, I had to go purchase on my dime, just so they could be discarded, all due to an alleged, potential safety risk to the government employees) shredded rather easily. Despite their size, they also couldn't be closed once the pieces were (more or less) inside. Now I had overly aerated "special bags" that clearly couldn't keep anything in or out. Lucky me.

Since I had now been dealing with what should have been a simple task for over two weeks at this point, I decided to say "Screw it!" and bring the items to the curb as is. After my original conversation with "Mary", I had this sneaking suspicion that those "special bags" would prove to be relatively unnecessary despite the "law" that "Mary" had informed me "had to be followed." When I awoke this morning, I found that the hypothesis I had been formulating had proven out to be correct. The mattress and bed spring were gone!

While I am, of course, happy that I no longer have to look at those well-past-their-prime pieces of furniture, the inefficiency and wastefulness of government throughout this process cannot be ignored. At least, not by me. What I had essentially mentioned to "Mary" during the initial phone call that started this government induced moronathon, that I knew town employees handled all types of garbage without following all the "safetyness laws", came to pass. Those "special bags" weren't closed and were filled with holes. They could not have protected anyone had there actually been a bed bug infestation in the mattress. Yet, they were picked up by hand and hauled away all the same. It just cost me more time and money but, other than death and destruction, that does seem to be what government is best at. Governments, after all, are the most inept and expensive middlemen of all time.

But they do it for our safetyness, so I suppose we are to be grateful. I can't even begin to imagine the carnage and chaos that would arise if all these nonsensical, redundant, and/or revenue generating "laws" were just ignored. It would be anarchy, or something...

Prior blog posts
https://steemit.com/busy/@abolitionistjay/all-in-the-name-of-safetyness

https://steemit.com/blog/@abolitionistjay/all-in-the-name-of-safetyness-part-2