Disconnected

The internet stopped working again, unknown reasons, has been doing it from time to time but it was working flawlessly for a long time before it started to stop again. I sit here on my laptop as unprepared and helpless as always, nothing to do, nothing to watch or entertain myself with while I keep checking and resetting the router thinking that will do anything. It feels weird how attached we have become to it, was only a couple decades agot hat barely anyone used it and now it's one of the top three things people could probably not live without. To me it feels like a mix of having everything I do be online and at the same time having to constantly be entertained, I do blame Reddit and Steem for the latter and I'm sure it has not done well for my instant gratification problems.

Every time the internet goes down I keep telling myself to download something to keep me entertained duringt he downtime, a documentary, a movie or a tv show, literally anything and yet as soon as the internet is back on I go to check on a few things and only a few minutes pass and I instantly forget what I promised myself I would do. Each time just as surprised and wondering why I keep repeating the same mistakes. This time I decided to start writing this post as I keep checking at the taskbar to see if connectivity is back up, I bet if it were to be back now I would not even bother finishing this post. Kinda crazy but there's no point denying it, we get so focused on the things we do online and especially if it's something you've been doing full time and have so many different projects going.

It kind of reminded me a little bit about Steem as well, not just the attachment but the getting used to how things work and constantly looking to get better or more out of it. Obviously the trending page doesn't help but there's no point to continue blaming it, while it works as a negative aspect where people keep comparing their rewards to those making more without bid bots at the same time it is something others may aspire to and thus try harder at their Steem game. The sense of entitlement though is becoming very strong on this platform, similar to how I get used to the internet constantly working we also do so with our own blockchain. I remember the day the chain froze how everyone was losing their shit everywhere, I wish I'd see as much Twitter and Reddit activity on the regular than what I saw that day. Yet a little time passes and everyone is back to being used to it working flawlessly and go back to their ways of wanting more, complaining about this and that and often brushing off the victories we get on a regular basis. It's like the gambler's fallacy in reverse, gamblers will almost never remember the big losses, not just cause they happen little at a time usually while they drain you out but also cause of the way the wins make you feel and replace the memories you may have felt like shit if you have a real gambling problem. Obviously there is a lot more to it like the thrill of playing and living on the edge and the whole psychology around it but on Steem it feels like we keep forgetting the good things and constantly remembering and bringing up the bad ones every chance we get.

It wasn't even that long ago that Steem didn't exist and we were all using Social Media where not only were you not getting rewarded but you were barely even getting any sort of genuine attention unless it's from friends you know from before, yet we take that for granted. I had a conversation recently with a friend where I mentioned that in the almost three years of manual curation I've done, there have been so many instances of people either getting fed up and ranting to me about how they are not making any rewards, not getting any attention and that the chain is not giving them what they feel they deserve. I'm not counting the regular random link drops in this, only when people really felt that they had to say something about their bad experiences. Many of them were already making a lot more than what they would on other social media platforms too. What I talked about to my friend was that compared to those rants, there was only a fraction of users that actually came to be and mentioned that they've been grateful for the past curation I have done onto their accounts. I'm not saying this and expecting people to constantly thank me or anything but just to compare to the points I made above, people easily forget the good things, brush them off, get used to them and take them for granted. When the rewards stop or prices drop down it feels like they are losing out a multiplier of times more and they go on the offensive of the chain and how everything sucks now, how it hasn't been able to accomplish this and that. It's almost like an abusive relationship where the only thing you think of is "how can I get the most out of this" and as soon as things are not going your way you blame your partner for everything and keep looking for a better one while forgetting all the good times or what your partner has done for you without expecting much in return.

I don't know, it's weird. It might be that time really does feel like it goes by much slower when you're constantly on Steem and once you're in it hard then you have dug your way so deep down the rabbit hole that not only do you know how most things work, but you also get used to them and feel entitled for it to constantly continue that way. I wonder what that would look like to outsiders looking in.

Oh, my internet is back! Let's post this and see what others think and forget what it was I was supposed to do to prepare myself in case it ever disconnects me again.