What a week

It's been a very emotional week for me.

On Wednesday we attended our friend's father's funeral. It was such an emotional time especially knowing how close our friend was to his Dad, it broke our hearts.

I didn't know his Dad well, but we have all been friends for a while and Kerry (his Dad) was always around, usually in the middle of the night after we've come back to continue a bender, to give the boys a ribbing or the girls a big bear hug. Or he'd be there, being a doting grandfather to his grandkids.

He was a funny old bastard (and I say that with so much love and affection). He loved a laughed, loved the drink - have never seen him without either.

And he will be missed.

This song is for you mate.

We had a few drinks for Kerry after because that's what he would have wanted, and I realised that was the first time we had seen our friends in 11 months.

I'm in a really weird place emotionally. I have been for months and lately I feel like I'm about to crack. But when I saw my girls and we had our group hug, I felt safe and loved again.

And when they asked me to "Come back to Blacktown." I was, for a split second, tempted.

It was good to relax and let my guard down in the circle of trust and it seems we all missed each other equally if the amount of group hugs was any indication. It was good to be among people who I know have my back 110% percent, will not judge but instead support and try to understand me.

Even thinking about it now, makes me want to cry. It's really been hard and the funeral and seeing our friends just threw me in a loop this week that's why I haven't been posting.

Another thing on loop is.

Sam Smith : Midnight Train

I choose me
And I know that's selfish, love
You are a dream
And I can't thank you enough
But I give another piece of me away
Every waking day that I'm with you

Am I a monster?
What will your family think of me?
They brought me in
They helped me out with everything
But I give a little piece of me away
Every single day

So I pick up the pieces
I get on the midnight train
I got my reasons
But darling I can't explain
I'll always love you
But tonight's the night I choose to walk away

Love you so much
That I have to let you go
I'll miss your touch
And the secrets we both know
But it would be wrong for me to stay
And I'll just give you hope

So I pick up the pieces
I get on the midnight train
I got my reasons
But darling I can't explain
I'll always love you
But tonight's the night I choose to walk away

I can't stop crying
I hate that I've caused you pain
But I can't deny it
I just don't feel the same
I'll always love you
But tonight's the night I choose to walk away

So I pick up the pieces
I get on the midnight train
I got my reasons
But darling I can't explain
I'll always love you
But tonight's the night I choose to walk away

I love this song. It's so sad and it's probably feeding my melancholy but I can't resist it.

The good news is, Mum and Dad are coming to stay over for the weekend. It's the first time they will be seeing the house and sleeping over our place so that's pretty cool. I'm excited to have my parents over for a sleep over. I'm glad I've been too depressed to cook the chicken adobo this week, I'll make it this weekend.

So if you don't hear from me this weekend it's cos I'll be hanging out with my oldies.

Nothing like a hug from Mum & Dad to make things better right?

Happy Friday Steemit!

🤗 Arly