My god, the amount of similarities in your life and mine (and yet so many differences) are just astounding and yet so fucking sad. I think in some ways that I dealt with my own... shit... by just pushing it aside and thinking that it just wasn't even possible (the only way I knew to deal) and the way you write feels so similar, so recognizable to me.
Hell, our mothers were polar opposites in many ways... gah. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. The way you write is so cathartic, I hope it is helping you release some of the pain of all of this.