I was a self-help guru years ago. It was everything I looked into and researched and couldn't get my hands on enough information. I'm just now getting back into that habit and way of life. And so I came across the most helpful method of this I've found to date, and thought I'd share.
It comes from the book
"How Quantum Physicists Build New Beliefs" By Greg Kuhn
This method of helping yourself is so Mind blowing that you will convince yourself it had no effect and that it was just the way your life played out. Which is how the Author openly explains it. But I assure you it is not - and that this actually works to an amazing degree.
The only problem is, with this method you so quickly move on or forget about your problem that the solution you're looking for was not even what you originally thought it would be.
The idea behind it is that most of the time life doesn't just get instantly better or instantly worse, that does happen but most of the time life evolves gradually. And so you can use your emotions to bring about life change in a purposeful way. A way that you direct your life improvements more so than 'just see what happens'
For example: Think about an area or part of your life you'd like to improve. Say its Find a new Job or Help yourself out of Debt.
You locate your current and honest feeling about the situation emotionally on the chart below. This chart can be though of as a ladder of emotional improvement. The Author used to have this openly listed on his website for reference, I'm glad I took note of it years ago because it has since been taken down.
Emotional Reference Chart
My Emotional Reference Chart
Love/Ecstasy
Joy/Elation
Ease/Power
Confidence/Inspiration
Excitement/Passion
Anticipation/Eagerness
Enthusiasm/Ambition
Hopefulness/Optimism
Interest/Inquisitiveness
Acceptance/Peace
Introspection/Contemplation
Pensiveness/Melancholy
Indifference/Apathy
Unease/Discontent
Frustration/Aggravation
Worry/Nervousness
Doubt/Pessimism
Anger/Blame
Anxiety/Fear
Grief/Desolation
Despair/Worthlessness
Powerlessness/Dejection
Depression/Hopelessness
So with the idea of 'Find a new Job' let's say you are at the level of 'DOUBT/PESSIMISM' because you are doubting that you will be able to find new work or are generally pessimistic that the right job is out there for you and attainable.
You simply write from the perspective of this belief. It should be somewhat effortless for you to do this because you were honest and open with yourself that this is where your problem lies and your emotional level towards it.
Goal: Find new job - Doubt/Pessimism
"It's so hard to find work around where I live. All the good jobs are taken. I think I probably could find a job but not what I want to do or the amount I want to get paid for. John Smith has a job he likes and gets paid well for it, if only I could find a job like that. I would really like to design webpages for a living, but I'm not good enough to get hired by anyone reputable. I would need to start my own business and don't know where to begin. There's probably so many people doing that anyway that competition is too thick. Maybe I could even start small and work my way up to webpage design as I get better in my free time. Or once a company things I have the skills to take on a project. But then again I won't be getting paid well from the start so it's a vicious circle."
I'm not actually looking for a webpage design job, it was just the perspective of someone I made up who is pessimistic about finding a new job. So it helps to clearly define what your goal is and to know what you want.
But you can even take a step back further if you truly don't know what you want or need help actually finding what you want. Like So-
Goal: Figure out what I want as a career - Interest/Inquisitiveness
"I really wish I could figure out what I want to do for a living or career wise. It seems like everyone else knows how to find what they want to do in life or just knew early on. Whenever I think about what I could see myself doing 5 or 10 years from now nothing ever seems to clearly come to mind. There's so much I like doing in my free time, but don't think I could make money doing it..."
You see how easy that is? That is literally all you do. You write about current feelings on your specific situation. You do this once a day for a day or two or several until you feel like there's nothing more you have to say. Or that you begin to feel better about the situations or problem you're in. That is the time you move up the emotional ladder and write from the next perspective of your issue.
Goal: Figure out what I want as a career - Hopefulness/Optimism
"I don't know what it is, but I'm finally okay with where I'm at in search of my career path. I have ideas for where I want to be in the coming years, and although I don't know for certain if they'll come true - I see myself making a lot of money doing what I want. Part of me feels like it could happen soon too. Just the feeling of knowing I'll get there is enough to get me through the day. It makes me optimistic and I haven't felt that way in a very long time..."
Trust me when I saw you're not going to believe how well this works. You'll realize a week or two later that this method was the catalyst to a new and exciting direction in life. It's really going to feel like it was just time for you to get out of your situation, and using this method at this time was a mere coincidence. I promise you this isn't true. So don't forget to keep this handy for the future when you need it.
Basically this is how you reach your goals. By slowly conditioning yourself out of the rut or emotional trap you're stuck in or haven't realized you were stuck in. Because it was holding you back in ways you can't imagine. I sincerely hope you at least experiment with this as I know I'm going to get back into the habit of doing this. Stay focused and set reminders if you have to. A life changing path to a better you is much closer than you think.
KEEP MOVING UP THE LADDER, FOCUS ON THE STEP YOU'RE ON AND IT'S EASY
Let me know if this helps you or if you're skeptical to give it a try. Maybe I can offer some encouragement! Good luck.
If it's easier for you save the below picture and keep it on your desktop or print it out to remind you of this method
Images copyright: istockphoto.com , amazon.com, and kavatimes.com