Dear Diary [An All Text Post]

in blog •  7 years ago 
Dear Diary,

It has always been an advice that for one to be able to catch the attention of the readers, the writer should include photos that would somehow relate the readers to the text post.

The intention of putting photos on post is clear. It can grab readers to all ages. It allows you to reay messages easily. I find it useful, but for now, I do not wish to do such thing.

Now why am I writing such thing?

No artwork tutorial for today.

No short stories.

No random conversation with strangers.

I wanted people to know me not because of the reputation that I have despite the fact that the amount of my steem power is not that high. I wanted people to know me because of the numbers of the followers that I have. I wanted people to know me not because of the faces and the artworks that I show. This time, I wanted people to know a little bit of me from the thoughts and ideas that is running inside my head.

Tired, alone, but not lonely.

I had a tiring day yesterday up until dawn. I fell asleep so late. It was almost 12 noon then. I woke up four hours after. I still wanted to sleep few more hours but my mind commanded me that I needed to wake up. I wasted my morning and I should not waste my night.

I hurriedly went to the bathroom after feeding my dogs. Of course, I could not afford them to get hungry. I also ate a portion of the food that was left for me. The meal was just okay. The rice was not hot, nor it was cold. I ate it as it is.

My dad just came home but instead of welcoming him home, I bid him goodbye. I started my day late but I do not want to end it late just like the usual.

It was almost six in the evening when I reached the internet cafe. I did not know what I should play. It was just my body who was moving while my mind was being spontaneous.

I was told to pay at the counter for registration. I took the coins inside my pocket which is worth a hundred pesos. I did as how I was told. The attendant smiled at me when I reached her the money. I smiled back. I also asked her how much those biscuits were. She told me they each for the price of ten pesos. Expensive . But I still bought two pieces. One for myself, and the other one for Eli.

I went inside the VIP lounge and sat beside Eli. I went over youtube and listened to Wanna One while Eli told me to try playing PUBG. I wanted to pull an all nighter but then I promised to Kuya John that we should meet.

I only spent few minutes watching videos when I decided to leave. Kuya John said he was already heading to the Sports Complex. I spent ten minutes or so walking towards the Sports Complex.

I was compelled to ride a jeepney because I was wearing short shorts, but a tiny voice inside my head tells me nothing will go wrong so I decided to walk.

When I reached the Sports Complex, there were a lot of people already inside. Some were stretching on the corner. Some were playing basketball. Some were talking on one side. While some were busy either walking or jogging. I looked around and I cannot seem to find my friend. I took my glasses inside my bag and I still could not find him.

Oh well, it does not matter anyway. I resolved to watching some clips that I downloaded online while walking around the oval. My pace was pretty slow. I was not in a hurrry in the first place. Just like in life, I started to slow down in taking my pace. Why do I even need to hurry? I looked around and started to appreciate the ongoing construction of tall buildings. The lights were a bit blurry.

I kept on walking until I realized I was tired. I did not have enough sleep to begin with. And if zombies would attack, I might as well get eaten since I do not have enough energy to run quick.

My phone beeped. It was Kuya John. He asked me where I was. I told him I was sitting on one cornee near the high school. Three minutes after, he came. I did not realize that though not until the moment he was already in front of me.

He said he was already in the moment to cool down. I said, go. I told him, you can go by yourself, I am happy in my own company. He said, at least I should make the most of the money I paid. I said, okay then.

When we were walking, we met some familiar faces. His friends were also around. I did not bother much when they insisted we wete dating. Of course, we were not. We were just basically talking about random things while strolling around.

There is no breath of romance.

No flirting.

No holding hands.

Just plain talking.

At that moment, I realized he was more like of the talker. It was something new for me because the other person that I am usually with is the one who listens to me.

I know he works as a nurse in PICU in a hospital nearby. We used to be neighbors. We use to ride the same utility vehicle while going to the city and while heading home.

He told me, I could always remember you as someone who sleeps comfortably inside the shuttle or jeepney despite how humid it is or how uncomfortable the seats are.

I told him that it is actually normal for me to fall asleep while inside a transportation. He reminded me then not to do that after drinking. I told him that he does not need to worry because I do not drink.

We talked and talked while we walked.

We decided to leave then by 9pm and had dinner at Jollibee which by the way is few meters from the Sports Complex. The conversation went on as we ate our meal. Like seriously, it was not a date and could not regard it as one. And I actually am not fond of dating after all the times of ending up with the wrong person.

I realized then I just needed a friend.

A relationship with Kenneth was just okay. He was actually very ideal. He is thoughtful at the times he is not busy. He is a friend to everyone and that was the problem. He could remember every little thing about his friends. He even takes time to drive his bestfriend off. He was just so busy with his life without noticing how many times he neglected me.

It is just the little things that count right? And I was not asking him too much. Just a simple message would always do.

I know he is heading towards a great direction without realizing that the relationship we have was drifting apart. I do not feel bad by the way because I know for a fact that my world would not end when he is gone away.

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The most beautiful discovery true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart!!! It’s nice to know someone with your confidence @gailbelga. Hoping to see more from you!!!