Dear Fiber One,
Will you do the whole world a god-damn favor and put a warning label on your fart bars?!!
Earlier today I had 1/2 a bar and was in extreme pain the rest of the fuckin day.
This isn't a 'Fiber Bar'. This is a fuckin colon cleansing LAXATIVE BAR disguised as a tasty granola snack. This thing belongs in the pharmacy section in the store next to Ex-Lax and Dulcolax....not in the granola food isle.
Your product is a weapon of m(ass) destruction. It is evil created by satan himself.
WARNING:
- May cause extreme gas pain...the worst you've felt in your life...for at least 24 hours after consumption.
- Maybe case extreme sphincter burn and explosive diarrhea.
- Be ready to use the toilet 20 minutes after eating, and then every 15 minutes afterwards after consumption.
- May cause 2 hour long farts...loud as hell farts...
- Really meant to be a colon cleanse rather than a snack.
- Eating one will leave you on the toilet for a day, eating more than one may land you in ER.
- Don't give to friends, family, or loved ones.
Need more fiber in your diet? Eat a god damn banana. Want excruciating abdominal pain and win a fart contest? Eat a FiberOne bar.
