By The End of This Post I'll Be In Your House, Calmly Sipping a Coffee

This is not a joke. It's not nonsense, and it's certainly not a lie. I can deliver on the promise posited in the title of this post, but only if you read until the end.

Don't worry, this won't be long.

Now, by this point you're either at home thinking "Uh, where the hell are you, then?" or you're out and about reading this and thinking "Ha, yeah right. This outta be good." I mean, most of you guys don't even know what I look like, right? (I assume most of you won't want to scroll through the hundreds of posts required to find a post of me). Well, here's what I look like:

So you know what I look like when you see me.

I mean, you can imagine that handsome face sipping on some coffee, right? Somewhere in your house there's a chair or couch or sofa. I'll let you pick. At this point you're already imagining me sitting there, sipping coffee from a white cup. Maybe I'm wearing a suit or tuxedo. Why not, right?

Here's the kicker: everything you perceive, as you probably know, is just stuff happening in your mind. The reason you can even recognize your home is because somewhere in your brain a copy of your house exists (essentially). And right now I've just placed myself conveniently in that home. Well, me and some coffee.

Many of you were like "Ha. That was a pretty good one." Others are like "Well I didn't imagine anything."

Give it time. It might take awhile, but sooner or later I'll pop up like an ad in music app. I'll just be there in your mind's eye, sitting on your couch/chair/floor, smiling up at you smugly and drinking my coffee from a white cup.

So for most of you I'm there already, and you've seen that I kept my promise. For the others, I'm there. You just can't see me, yet.

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