Sometimes I loose it. I loose the ability to understand why people do one thing or another. And then I look back at my own family and stop questioning why do I feel this way.
Yesterday I was standing in a queue to the registration desk in Budapest. Four men standing at front of me were typical Kiev guys, the so called machos in their prime- 35-40. I don’t like to eardrop but heck this was fascinating. The theme of the discussion was how much money did they invest in their ladies, exs and present partners. Now this was followed by proving a proof in instagram- for Christmas I gave her boobs, for her birthday I gave her, her nose. Prices, comments, anger, derogatory comments, insults. All packed in a few sentences. They were discussing women as if they were an investment, a business. Now I have nothing against looking at a marriage or a relationship from a business point of view- how can we budget, what can we do together, what investments can we make in this project. But looking at another person like this? As if they were nothing but a thing, that you can buy and improve, raise to your own standard? This is horrendous.
And then I looked at my own family. Where my father till this day thinks that I’m his property, where he never misses a chance to diminish my carrier choice and to put me down by reminding me of my failures. And the cherry on pie- how could you leave your hospital job for doing what you do. Ehmmm what never even crossed his mind is that when I worked in cardio department I lost people and that stress took a huge toll on me. The classic stress release in Ukraine is to get drunk and let it go. Except it doesn’t make anything better, it just adds up until you stop feeling anything. That’s something my prime “investor” never understood, that the conditions I worked in were inhumane and somehow I chose myself over sacrificing my life to medicine. The grudge is still there. Oh well. But this mentality is pretty much the same, except modern “patriarchs” don’t see a problem in treating women as if they are their property. No wonder we have a raise in aggression, finally women are waking up and saying no more of this nonsense.
I know that living a traditional life is easier. Traditions and rituals replace thinking process, you have an answer for a lot of things and you don’t have to think extra. But this isn’t my path, nor is it the path of females I work with. We made our choice, it cost us a lot- family rejection, loss of contacts, anger, financial struggles. And at the same time liberation, from traditional misogyny and aggression. It is a fight but heck it’s worth it. Each women who pulls through, who finds strength to stand up and fight back, often without any support is a winner. This is why I love my job- because I have a chance to support and help these women, to see them stand up and change their life, to come back to their happy. They are amazing.
Have an amazing day guys.
To me, life is about 2 perspectives: how you see yourself, and how you see the world you live in. To some of us, money is everything, while to others, money means little more than conventional wisdom. If you extract sexualisation from a decision and instead look at the nature of the thought given, the only thing that matters and makes sense in all of this message is how a lack of information can be considered to someone. Change begins with you: in a single moment of acceptance in how you are and what you're capable of, in turn where that will take you. It only matters if someone has little to no belief in you and your success if you don't believe in yourself. We all have greatness within us, but we dampen that because of another's view of us, and this is something that I find rather peculiar.
The concept of control is not largely exclusive to sexism, but rather to maintain and limit your capacity for growth based on the thought patterns you accept as justified. Accept your greatness, become great. Listen to judgment, become squandered. Life is what you make it, and you are unique and great - if you believe it.
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We are conditioned to believe that the way the world tells us we should be is what matters, we must conform to the social norms, be the epitome of whatever demographic are naturally part of or we have had forced upon us by others in our indoctrination.
It can be difficult to undo the decades of conditioning on the individuals, and centuries of conditioning on society. However, we can take steps to gravitate to a more congruent and autonomous self, within this understanding we can start to find our way to who we want to be, not who we are told to be :)
In other words, screw everyone else, just do you , cause you are the best version of yourself when "you are you " :)
Much love and copious hugs in your direction :)
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Thank you for your opinion you have a great point- everything starts within ourselves. You can build anything from scratch as long as you want to.
And thank you for your support.
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It can be a difficult road to walk when we go against the grain of the social norms in our lives, but it is the mark of a self aware individual to do what is congruent with the self rather than do what is prescribed by the status quo. We must strive to find our autonomy and gravitate towards the existence we choose for ourselves and not what is forced upon us by others.
I applaud your resistance to the current state of affairs and your resilience despite the challenges you face. I hope that you never let these people win when they attempt t o force their autonomy upon you, you will always have my support :) much love and copious hugs in your direction
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I believe that autonomy in this country is pretty much equal to being a hero. There is a raise of addictions, especially considering the war state and the amount of untreated PTSD, people are living in full blown anxiety that they dont even notice. One of the key elements of this country's script is "you can only be loved if you are suffering", and I see a lot of this too. Honestly this battle of traditions and liberal approach is also fueled by election, so I take it will get worse in next few month. Buckle up state:)
Thank you for your support and encouragement, means a lot! Take care and hugs from Ukraine
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So what is your superhero name ? :)
It sounds like a a difficult time to be living in the Ukraine, for many people it is difficult to acknowledge there is an issue involving mental health, TV shows and movies have depicted mental illness to look a certain way which is not "normal" so the general public thinks it must be an extreme state to qualify as mental illness. a couple of examples for you :)
The stigma around mental health is so negatively skewed that people believe that if the seek assistance with mental illness that they will be committed and kept in a strait jacket.
It sounds like there is much turmoil where you live, have you thought about moving from there to another place, state or country which better represents the values which you hold ?
You are very welcome for the support :) I no longer wield the mighty power of the Make a minnow 5K SP delegation, but i still continue to give my standard upvotes to great work on the platform and will continue to do so, much love and copious hugs ;)
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I think the stigma of mental health still lingers in the minds of the majority of population. When I said to my own colleagues that bipolar people can have children and that's ok as long as they are getting treatment that they need I thought I will get stoned. Unfortunately the education system and traditional system of beliefs are failing to catch up with modern times. Oh well.
I am thinking about moving away just figuring out where too. :) But I did set a final date when I want to do it. And thats already my own progress.
Thank you:)
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unfortunately the stigma is still around everywhere, but some places worse than others. All we can do is the best we can with what we have available to us.
Yeah, its sad but sometimes we must leave behind what does not align with who we are and our sense of being, this can be partners, friends, family, and sometimes even items and places that only weigh us down. In the long run we must do what is best for us, i hope you find what you seek in the world and are able to gravitate towards it :) much love and copious hugs in your direction :)
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Nice 😃
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Thank you:)
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