Do you remember your childhood? If so, I encourage you to try and remember all the times you were treated unfairly or were disrespected by your elders.
Now the reason why I tell you to do so is because our children aren’t respecting us due to the fact that we are treating them unfairly and our only response is, “because I said so!”.
Of course there are other aspects but this one is definitely key.
Let me share a quick story. When I was around the age of 5-7, my parents were getting a divorce. My mother wanted to keep us from thinking about it so we went on a camping trip with a few other family members. It was night time and all the kids including myself were in the tent. All the children were asleep and I couldn’t. I was just thinking about all that had been going on. A few minutes go by and I hear my uncle, offering my mother a beer. Being young, I didn’t like that she was drinking. After a while she comes in the tent to check on us and sees that I’m awake. “Why are you awake, son?” I replied, “are you drinking beer?” She lies to me and says no as I smell the beer right off of here mouth. I had already caught on that we were camping because negative stuff was going on at home, now my mother was lying straight to my face.
This story could go on longer but the point is that our children don’t respect us and they deceive us because that’s what we do to them. How can we possible tell our children to live a certain way when we don’t practice it ourselves?
Tell your child that you don’t have all the answers. Tell your child that one day they could be smarter than you. Uplift your child, we need to stop trying to “protect” them from the world, they need to see where it really is so they stand up and make a change about it. They ask for explanations so they could make their own decisions and inferences; not because they are trying to be a pain in the ass.
Keep at this for two weeks straight and see the complete 180 degree turn from the relationship you and your child were having in the aspect of respect and trust..
-Try to explain more often
ESPECIALLY when you’re disciplining them!!
If you over react when they simply dropped something or knocked something over, you are now in the wrong, and need to own up to it.
Owning up to your mistakes is not something taken lightly by your children, they greatly appreciate it. They will most likely adopt this positive characteristic as well and that is what we want.
I’ve personally discovered that letting your child know where they messed up and giving them advice where they could improve next time is the best way to handle any way they have misbehaved. It could be hard in the beginning especially if they do something courageous. If you move away from hitting, taking away things, and humiliation. The level of respect will be like no other.
You already get the point when your boss says you have messed up now imagine if he made you take two weeks off with no pay to “think” about it. Your response within yourself is “I already got the point when you walked in my office.”
-be completely honest
(if your excuse to lie is because the truth hurts. Just know that living a lie hurts way worse, especially when a child is trying to understand his/her reality.)
I encouraged everyone to comment their views! :) I hope this helped. There isn’t “one” way to earn your childs respect and trust so I would love everyone’s point of view. Love to all.